Tales from Bolehland

Found this in the archive of my email. Have to admit this is quite appropriately used in our daily life.

Who says our English is teruk.?
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Brits: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want inyour size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Brits: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.

Brits: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Brits: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Brits: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Brits: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Brits: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Brits: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Brits: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONETO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Brits: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Brits: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Brits: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Brits: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Brits: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,

Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Brits: Would you mind not disturbing me

Malaysians: Celaka u

Aiseh, like that english also can.......better than 'no speakee inglish' lor. ding, ding...remember?