Kopi Tiam: Rest in Peace, Grandpa

Grandpa, wherever you are, today is Qingming. We have, as we have over the years, swept your tomb and pay our respects. You left 34 years ago, and you would be 108 years old this year, had you lived. I can’t remember much about you during my first 14 years with you and, I guess you may sum up your life with 徐志摩’s poem “輕輕的我走了，正如我輕輕的來………”

Grandpa’s life is relatively simple and plain. He left his ancestral village in, 鹤山, at the turn of last century and never made it back again. I don’t know if this was the right thing to do, but at times we needed to face reality as well. The family was poor, trying to make ends meet, and I guess a trip back to the ancestral village was just another wishful thinking.

Grandpa adores durian……no..no, that’s an under-statement……he worships durian. I remember we once put a durian over his altar to pay homage to him! He wasn’t fussy, no matter if the durian is white or pure golden yellow, he ate them with sheer delights. He was like a vacuum cleaner, sucks any breed of durian and suck out to the seed. My goodness! I must say people like him made me wonder if I am the odd one out of the general mass. His staple diet during the season is none other than durian, of course. Speaking of which, his diet was rather unhealthy. He cooks the fattest pork (really oily version) and ate quite happily throughout his life. Yes, you are right, no vegetables, only meat. And if that’s not bad enough, he downs it with Kopi-O and the sweetest you can ever imagine. For as long as I can remember, I never ever saw him quenching his thirst with plain water. It was always Kopi-O, the vintage old faithful, plus a puff of the lowest grade tobacco.

Grandpa is also known as “The Dog Meat King”, and I believe one doesn’t need to stretch one’s imagination to arrive at a conclusion. By today’s standard, yes admittedly, this is kind of unacceptable. In those days, he was summoned by people to kill the dog for the meat, and at times, only occasionally, when his craving for the meat goes beyond his head, he would hunt! I can’t condone such acts if you ask me now, but I certainly was part of it as a child.

There are no words to describe how much we miss this old man. Although, we don’t get to spend a large portion of our lives with grandpa, we are happy with whatever bonds we have with him. He was a person that could brighten up any gloomy days at school, just by telling you some nonsense or reading the newspaper in Hakka. My fondest memories of my grandfather are seeing him enjoying the durian because that is what he did everyday during that season. I would have accompanied him back to the ancestral village, had he lived.

From his sneaky gambling habits, to his forever dirty room at the back of the house, to him wanting to quarrel with dad on money matters, everything he said and did will remain in my mind a good memory and profound fondness for the rest of my life.