Being Punctual: Obvious or Oblivious

My best guesstimate is 99.999999% of us really don’t have the habit of being punctual for any appointments. I could be wrong but by two decimal places if you are really pedantic. So why is this degree of sluggishness so persistent? Is it due to our internal clock’s inability to synchronise with the real time? Or is it that, we allow lame excuses eg being caught by the bad traffic conditions or, the brother of our grandaunt friend’s neighbour came……..or whatever excuses we can dream up to make up our tardiness.

Can we then safely assume that it is the norm that a minute amount of lateness is generally acceptable and understandable? The so-call peer behaviour renders the unspoken understanding and hence, no apology is needed. How is that when it comes to your turn to wait, you make a fuss on how frustrating it was to stand in the middle of the road waiting for him or her. Not fair, isn’t it?

I was at a social gathering last night and the hall was virtually empty when I arrived on time. The only noticeable beings were the crew of helpers setting up the tables and testing the microphones. How unfortunate! I bet you the next time when I end up an hour late, the guests would probably be midway into the main course. But I am going to risk it, nonetheless to prove my point.

I have a hypothesis on punctuality. I believe it all started just before our birth. I still remember waiting at the hospital’s corridor for the arrival of my daughter. Eight hours into labour, and my girl made no attempt to arrive at the expense of her mummy’s excruciating pain. I started counting the number of buttons on my shirt, the length of the corridors, number of leaves on the plants and number of holes on my shoe lace (ever wonder why shoemakers like to use odd holes not even?, I don't know the answer, perhaps someone enlighten me) and etc etc. I must be somewhere counting the cost of bringing her up to university when the nurse called me in to witness her arrival. She cried loudly, as if she has been yanked out too early without her consent! My goodness, really, that’s the beginning of her being late for almost everything she embarks. The point is, a chip somehow is planted in her brain that inherently makes all efforts to delay and never to be punctual for the rest of her life.

Then the schooling years begun, and a long journey if you consider my academic years! If you are curious about my schooling years, you will be disappointed because I am not compelled to share it today……..hahaha. Now where was I??? Ah! Yes, you can’t wake up on time because 6:00 to 7:00 am is perhaps the best sleeping time. I don't know about you, but I always imagine doing things in a virtual manner. I would imagine leaving my bed, cleaning my teeth and changing to my school uniform and before I knew it, I was still in bed and clearly late for the school bus！I, inevitably, ended up at the school gate serving my ‘sentence’ for being late. The so call punishment for being late isn’t harsh because like any kids of my age, I don't mind waiting at the school gate while the classes commence. Hey, I missed a period, so what! Being late does has its’ merit, we can share a few minutes of talks about the TV yesterday or to catch up with the last minute sleep! So to speak, we are rewarded for being late in our school years. That’s encouraging enough. As the years moved on, you cooked up really innovative excuses for being late. My infamous excuse to my headmaster was, “Sir, I set the time to wake up but I forget to set the alarm!”. I swore when I first use this excuse, there was a grin (a sheepish one) at the corner of my headmaster’s lips. But as time went, the originality disappeared and a new line of excuse is being dreamed up. All, for the sake of not being punctual!

I also remember the eternal wait for my favourite cartoon eons ago. Ultraman or Giant Robot or whatever, and time really stood still then! For no matter how hard I tried, only the second hand seems to be moving, the minute and the hour hand stood like eternity. And when the show starts, time seems to fly. Just when you shifted your position, there is this thing call advertisement and everybody scramble for a better position. For no matter how hard you try to get a comfortable seat, there is always an idiot sitting right in front of you and blocking three quarter of the TV. Pretty ironic, isn’t it? And that was when the notion of being late crops in. You need to be the last person to get the best seat! Unknown to anyone, yourself included, such behaviour is being instilled at your tender age.

Moving on to the dating years, and I can claim to be a guru in this arena. All you need to do is to read my one and only book on dating games to concur my guru status. It is entitled “Your place or mine?”. The fun in Your place or mine is extended to all phases of the guy’s dating life….finding out what is most important to this sexy man, will lead you down a path filled with tongue-in-cheek humor, that may have you laughing out loud. The surprise ending will amaze you…an unmistakable writing style that is sure to please once again…….wow! hehehehe I made it up with my wildest fantasy. In my years of dating girls, there isn’t anyone that will turn up promptly, be it at the designated place or time. Most will take anything in the order of 1 to 3 hours, depending on the time of the day. You see, girls would spend hours in front of the mirror, only to be coaxed into changing again by a casual remark by a sister. “it may not fit you, sis, too grand” or “it just isn’t you!”, another hour wasted. Being late for a lady is all due to vanity, hence there isn’t the need to make a fuss even if she were to turn up a day late!

Beyond this point, the awareness of punctuality gets beyond repair. There is the work stress, deadlines, family problems etc each contributing to the severity. We don't get to meet any friends due to work’s commitments and if we do we always ended up hours later than schedule. We celebrated the birthdays/anniversaries of our love ones in retrospect (we forget?) and we watch DVDs at home, not because it is cheaper but we missed the show due to our own lateness. In short, we have other priorities!

I haven’t move into the sunset years because I just entered my middle age but young at heart stage……hahahaha. Looking at my dad, I know to a certain degree I will end up like him. Severe memory loss and slowness made him late in almost anything. A) he takes a lot of time changing, B) he walks slowly C) he goes to the toilet too often D) he refuses to unseat himself until the TV show is over (even though the show was repeated, memory loss kwah!). So we make up his shortcomings by citing an hour earlier to the schedule time, and even then his perennial lateness persists.

Oopsie daisy, I am late to witness the signing of a new project in Cambodia. Okay, you may stop reading now else you will be late too.........................