The Land of Strange Names

I had a brief breakfast meeting today at one of the swanky hotel over at Hong Kong Island. It is the usual conversation in between mouthful of cereals and fruits whereby the client bragged over his intended development, the high tech image and along with a whole load of rubbish. How much can you do to change the image of your development when it is located next to the Solid Waste Transfer Station? I give up. What actually surprised me isn't the development, or rather his usual bullshits but his name card. He flashed out his new name card to me, indicating a change of his own name to Archibald Christopher Choi. He had always been known as Chris Choi in my years of having the unfortunate pleasure of his acquaintance. And now suddenly I have to address him as Arche? Or should still be Chris? Sweat lah, if you ask me.

Which brings me back to today’s blog on uncommon names in Hong Kong. It has been a tradition that students adopt a Christian name on the enrolment to secondary schools. I can tell you from my years here, the names they have chosen are simply weird. Here are some of those names:

Starters

a. Jinky Chui ===sounds like a drug addict to me
b. Yennie Yau ===sounds like being scratch at the back
c. Cissy Chan ===how adorable, but what if he is a guy?
d. Tonny Chow ==sounds like a bricklayer to me
e. Sunny Tai ====Big Sun?
f. Kan Chan ====sounds like can can dancers to me
g. Man Lui ====yeah, baby, I know you are a man!
h. Pento Chan ===sounds like a car?
i. Gemdia Lee ===jam saya lagi best
j. Wing Chiu ====I believe I can fly!
k. Bird Wong ====I am flying……
l. Wellman Cheng ===I am well but what about you?
m. Atlas Chan ======I am poor in geography, I need an atlas
n. Hormony Hsu ====psssh! I misspell Harmony
o. Polen Wong =====I am a pollen grain, and I like to pollinate
p. Paris Wong ======Bonjour mes amis, le nom complet Paris Wong
q. West Leung ======I like the wild wild west
r. Dettorio Wong ===I am very hygienic, dettol is the name
s. Guy Tse ======= I smell like chicken shit

Serious Contenders

a. Power Chan === I got the power!!! But I ain't got the speed………..
b. Tiger Chung ===Risin’ up, back in the street, did my time, took my chances…Rocky?
c. Leoman Ho === Leo is my horoscope…I changed to Michael now but my name still stuck!
d. Vivi Ho ====sounds like vi wang vi wang
e. Saliva Li ===wow!
f. Galaxy Cheng== I belong to this universe
g. Joss Chan ====Joss stick?
h. Willy Chiu ====oh no! smelly you know what!
i. Park Chiu ====no parking space left?
j. Eddycol Li ===alamak sounds E-coli
k. Camby Se ===can be seen?
l. Holly Shi ====Holy Shit!
m. Big Wang ====How big?
n. Awa Yang ===== A wayang?
o. Pippen Yung ===Peeping Yung?
p. Cute Fok =====really?

And you wouldn't believe these are just some of the names I picked up from my office directory!

Coming up to our 3rd place winner

Alcohol Mok ==== he drinks like a fish? No, he works like a bee!

2nd place winner

Thomas Shit @ Thomas Sit ==== I felt like shitting now

And the 1st place winner

Manna Ada Kam ====She kept telling me, ‘it is Man-na A-da” but I told her “Mana Ada”….where got gold???

My wife and I have been deliberating on a name for our child, and I take the liberty of choosing the appropriate name for him. I take no risk in letting him a choice in this land of strange names. I shall call him Abel Abraham Yin.

Hey, you win some, you lose some, son!