The Peril of entering a Marriage

A buddy of mine got married last Christmas after years of searching for his “the other half”. As a friend, I gladly offered my blessings/wishes to that all important day of his life. More appropriately, I just don't have the heart to remind him the other side of the marriage coin.

Fairy tales, as we may all have read, starts with “Once upon a time....” and ends with “and they lived happily ever after.” Marriage, on the other hand, starts with “Once upon a tomb……” and ends with “to death do they part” (lucky enough to be spared of the agony!).

The peril of entering a marriage starts with the traditional exchange wedding rings after they say their vows. The ring must be big, attention seeking, shiny etc enough for your wife to wear it! Never mind how difficult and how expensive those rings may cost you; there is always a remark from the other side. The ring is nice, but the diamonds are too small or silver…not platinum?

FOR HIM AND FOR HER, SPOT THE DIFFERENCES

And since these rings are symbols of the marriage, the words said during a ring exchange should reflect the couple's HOPES for their marriage. I say “HOPES” because quite often they don't mean it. Here are some examples wording to use during your ring exchange or ring ceremony to illustrate my point:

A. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you. I ask you to wear this ring as a reminder of the vows we have spoken today, our wedding day.
Wow! Lest you claimed to have memory lost, such words and that ring will come back and haunts you to eternity.

B. This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am
The begging question is….what if all that you have is just yourself?

C. I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share.
No, you don't share. It’s all hers for now.

D. with this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands.
Afraid to say, that’s not want they want and quite rightfully immaterial.

You see, the true meaning of the vows we take is often overlooked during the ceremony. What exactly do we mean when we say "for better or for worse...", or for this matter “for better but NOT for worse…..”

My friend called me a week after his wedding, and said he hadn’t overcome with the “being married” status. I assured him that, in time, he will think otherwise and I gave him my version of the A to Z of marriage life:

A. you grow fatter
B. you can’t do anything alone anymore
C. you can’t sleep peacefully at night
D. you wallet is half the size it used to be
E. you are no longer have your friends, they are hers
F. you need to phone, inform her on matters big or small
G. you need to plan holidays of her choice
H. you have to remember at least 3 more dates, Valentines, her birthday and the anniversary, no forgetting your in-laws!
I. you need to carry all her shopping bags
J. you need to keep the smile even when you are not happy
L. you world evolve around her
M. you can’t come home without telling her how much you love her
N. you probably want kid, she don't
O. you probably don't want kid, she does
P. you need to find out why she is sometimes moody
Q. you need to sleep after her
R. you need to aim when you pee, else you will be a subject of lecture
S. you wake up in the morning, and prepare her breakfast
T. you need to pay extra extra compliments on whatever she does
U. you can’t choose for her, but she wants your opinion
V. you walk behind her
W. you can’t have your favorite TV show anymore
X. you wardrobe is only good enough for 3 shirts and 2 pants
Y. you need to take more showers, be more hygienic, she says
Z. you are no longer u.

Pretty pathetic, is it not? As a respect, I shall keep Jeffrey’s identity anonymous (oops! I just mentioned Jeff’s name………:)). Guys out there, do take note. Take your time for this is a Life Sentence.