Oh...my love, my darling........

This is not my imagination. It was actually from a close friend of mine. Interesting, outrageous, subtle but every inch of it paints a true picture.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F**K YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

But whatever woman you may choose to share your life, please do not forget what you have promised her. In case, you haven't caught the whole picture, perhaps a word or two from old Shakespeare will refresh some of your old promises.

Did my heart love till now?
Forswear it sight. For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night ==== "Romeo and Juliet"

Bring Your Own Bag

The future of waste disposal has finally arrived. And it stinks. I asked myself this simple question, since when is Hong Kong so environmentally conscious? I am not so sure the general public is prepared to embrace the government calls to support the trend. I say this because many many years ago, my mum used to bring a bamboo basket to shop in the market. Everything included, you will find vegetables, fish and meat all in her Pandora’s basket. Yes, in those days people use to wrap everything with old newspaper. Now if you look back, people then have the notion of shaping a better world. You have a basket to be filled with the day’s food. You also have newspaper undergoing the ‘recycled’ phase, you read, and then you use it to wrap meat or fish. Sounds good, isn’t it? That was well before the damn western world invented PLASTIC.

And, as if without any of us noticing it, plastic inventories dominate the mummy’s market. Think about it, you have to use plastic for almost everything you do these days. And then, just when we got used to using plastic, the damn western world made another amazing discovery. Yes, plastic are non bio-degradable. Which in theory will still remain plastic, (ok, dirtier plastic) in the landfill sites.
What I don’t understand, and I always have this puzzling thoughts, is why Hong Kong has taken so long to react? I remember the supermarkets in UK were charging me 4 penny for each bag I used then. Then, meaning 20 years ago! And 4 pennies is roughly equivalent to 50 cents Hong Kong. Today the same charge will be applied come 7th July 2009. I am not so sure if 50 cents per plastic bag will deter anyone from using them. I certainly won’t. Not that I couldn’t care about the extra 50 cents, but more on the issues of how the community will react to just shopping bags. What about the plastic wrappings of foods? Aren’t they the same type of plastic? Aren’t they non bio-degradable as well? If you are going to push for something, you make sure you go for the limit. What’s the point of limiting to supermarkets when the next confectionary you encounter will have plastic wrappings for your daily breads!
What about our daily lunch-box? Are they bio-degradable? What about the many other forms of plastic? Polyethylene, polythene and polystyrene….you name them.

Start counting, one person per lunch box. Is this more or less than the number of shopping plastic bags?

Not forgetting Char Siu Fan plus soup as well!

When will we learn? Perhaps going back to the days where everything is reuseable seems a better idea, Mr. HK government.

You just cannot do one and forget about other main issues. It is what we call "Some days you get the rubbish, and some days the rubbish gets back to you!"

Double Life Girl - So Good Meh?

There is something strange happening lately, and I can’t fully grasp the sensation. I don't know why, but it is happening. For, when it comes to movies or cinemas or whatever box you may care to call, people are really divided. There are those who hate it, and then there are those who really, really, really hate them. But, the most irksome type would be those who hate to pay for it but love to watch it on DVDs, errrr……pirated copies of course, my dear sister included.
I still cannot overcome the ‘surprise’ sensation when my dear niece shared her delight to a movie session with her mum. My sister, after years of patronizing pirated DVDs, can suddenly have this urge to visit the local cinema? Unbelievable! And to make the surprise even more surprising was the theme “Hannah Montana!” What on earth is a 40-ish woman doing within an audience of hardly 15 years old?? Personally, the only way I can survive that movie is subjecting myself into a good sleep, only to be awakened by the giggling and screams to the songs of Miley Cyrus aka Hannah and Taylor whatever-is-her-name. And only then will I pretend all this pain isn't all there.

I don’t get it…songs like Let’s Get Crazy (shouldn’t it be Let’s Get Lazy?) and Let’s Do This (and that?) can make the movie grossed so much….. Don’t people care about title of songs anymore? Titles like Let’s Get Crazy or Let’s Do This, is probably the last thing a sane person would bother to have it as a title. They simply don’t click, you know. But then again, I may be an extinct movie or song critic. How am I to know anything more than the golden oldies? Songs that I am familiar, and songs that definitely have an appropriate title. I thought “Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree” is meaningful. People still tie yellow ribbons as a sign of home-coming, don’t they? I would have rhyme in synchrony if someone still plays “Knock Three Times” on the ceiling….(see songwriters then are so catchy, not on the door leh). And then “Puppy Love” would have us sung our hearts out for that ‘girl’. No? Then, you have never been through the sweetest years of your lives! And how about “Put Your Head On My Shoulder”, so ever a golden song; best for all occasion, mate. I guess I don’t have to elaborate the golden classics, they were songs that are definitely endearing and quite aptly titled, I must admit.
Enough said. Melody asked to come over my place later than usual this evening. She is going out with friends to watch Hannah Montana: The Movie……and yes, it opens today in Hong Kong. I am not invited to join her, or more appropriately she refuses to let her friends hear her father’s snore in the cinema! I am not sure this is the correct way to treat an old man especially when it is supposingly Father’s Day weekend.

Happy Father’s Day, and maybe I shall write a song at home, an absolutely stupid lyrics that goes something like ……I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping….and sweeping it shall be as always. How’s that, Nicole? Care to include this in one of your many songs…… like Paper Hearts? Or, should I say Let’s Go Lazy! Party on, dude.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, MELODY SAID.

So Unique, So Diverse, So Very Boleh

Shakespeare once wrote that a rose by any other name smells as sweet. I think dung by any other name stinks as bad. This is the age of grave irony. If you want to make the headlines, wearing black is probably a good idea. Wearing Black, you say? There is probably no better guiding principle in life for citizen of Bolehland anymore, I suspect. Is this a bash from our ever no-nonsense totalitarian authority? Or is this a joke! You cannot wear black, and you cannot drink Kopi-O??? Adoi......
Aiyoyo, drink Kopi-O also cannot meh.
Like that how leh?

I read today’s news on our very own South China Morning Post in total amazement. It was news on people wearing black and drinking Kopi-O. It reads “Dressed in black, the colour of protest, and 200 activists sat at café tables quietly drinking coffee – black, of course. Bewildered, police stood outside and watched the coffee drinkers with interfering.” I can’t relate this bewildering news to my fellow Hongkongers here because on July 1st 2003, 500,000 of them took on the street all wearing BLACK. Nowhere in the history of Hong Kong is such insubordination displayed more explicitly. I suppose a picture paints a thousand words.


I am not a political observer or analyst but it is becoming a political dismal to read our very own police saying “We are monitoring the targeted outlets and if necessary will arrest any person wearing black as they approach the outlets.” Hello, it is only a small crowd lah, I am sure you have better roles to play in keeping the nation’s crime rate from spiraling uncontrollably.

I don’t know about you but come tomorrow I shall immersed myself in the comfort within the aroma of the sophisticated grandeur of good old Kopi-O. Errrrrh……black of course! Hello kawan, tak bleh buat gitu, nanti orang gelak kita orang macam kerbau... ah..mari mari, jom minum Kopi-O kau kau..........hehehehehe

Testament of Time

Something for us to ponder…. 20 years on, the feeling is as strong as ever. I wonder what the implication would be if the same were to occur in my home country?

150,000 Hongkongers gathered at Victoria Park on 4th June 2009

a. First of all, you will never get a permit to host a gathering of that magnitude
b. We will have to deploy hundreds of PDRM personnel to keep the situation at bay
c. Multiple arrests will be imminent
d. We could be the only country where candle light vigil is a taboo

I rest my case. Although I never supported the cause of June 4th, I have to take my hat off for those who did, and more importantly to those who still remember the importance of this day. May those who perished on that memorable day find their long lasting peace. The world still remembers the brave youngsters who sacrificed themselves for a freer China. And may the whole world remembers the statement “All the things that happened in and around Tiananmen Square on June 4, 1989, didn’t happen” is just a politburo paraphrase.

Something Just Won’t Change

I read somewhere, I can’t remember where and when, but here is how it goes…. “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” I am not an advocate of change; I am one of those people (ok, I am a stubborn old donkey) who hate to change. And if I don’t change, I should not be growing and if I am not, I would not be sitting here writing down my latest nonsensical thoughts. So am I changing?

I have this humble thought when I witnessed the latest addition to my small township. Yes, we now have the latest of the series of hypermarkets, Tesco, in town. I don’t remember when but it would seem an eternity when the Brits left us for good, and now they are back. Not to govern us but to give my fellow town folks some stiff competition. Looking at the brighter side, all of us, in one way or another, want to change. I am not suggesting having a fat bank account, nor would I hint the idea of emigrating to a foreign land, or even harping for a leaner weight and get into a better shape. I am thinking along the lines of my fellow kampong folks re-discovering the convenience of free air-conditioning under the baking Malaysian sun. The sad side like it or not, is the imminent danger of big chains affecting the local businesses. Yes, the poor folks who still stood by and, in their shabby stores, providing or have been providing the much sought convenience of the past. Okay it is also equally true that the same poor folks may have, at some distance past, charged you a bomb over some peanuts stuff. That is another story for another time.
Everyone needs to change, sometimes. The problem is, as far as Kulaian is concern, we just don’t know how. I still remember our very first emporium, mini hypermarket, and there was much looting the very first day of business. While shopping in Tesco last weekend, I noticed small stuffs were packed under a magnetized container. Now, if that is not anti-theft, I really don’t know the hidden reason for it to be redundantly packed.

The fact is, I am afraid to say, change is hard. It's difficult to do well, and it's even harder to develop a lifestyle of change. Kulaian have the notoriety to drive contra flow despite being designated as “No Entry.” One of our town’s main artery roads was designated as no entry but after more than 20 years, you still, from time to time, confront on-coming traffic. I was entering Tesco when an apparent fellow resident tried to manoeuvre itself out but through the “No Entry” side. I guess over the years we have developed extreme caution and tolerance towards errant fellow drivers. However, that doesn’t preclude the idea of swearing silently over inconsiderate drivers, I must admit. I couldn’t help but smiled to myself, I haven’t really changed a bit, you know!

I suppose change is here, and change is happening whether we like it or not. As I write, I have to admit it is not about knowing the change; it's being ready for the change. It's not about having the right answers; it's about asking the right questions. But with the much monkey business happening around the country, I really wonder what wrong change has brought upon us!

I leave a thought here for us to digest. “How do we get from where we are, to where we want to be?” Here is the challenge, a Kopi-O from the kopitiam is $1 but it is $2.50 from Old Town Coffee and $7.86 from Starbucks! That is CHANGE, my friend. They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. I am going for to my faithful kopitiam, you want to join me?

Even the Best Savings Strategy Can be Better

I have to admit, I am rather unusually disturbed today. It wasn’t due to my busily packed snuggly fitted schedules although it does, to a lesser proportion, invariantly (perhaps) contributed to this adversity in the mind. Ok, to a larger proportion, come to think of it…I hopped from meetings after meetings and, in four working days I only sat on my seat hardly long enough to warm it. Even video conference calls needed to be postponed until next week as I am never around. I forgotten to bring my blackberry, got myself the wrong phone (un-roaming version) and more importantly left my glasses (for presbyopia) in my other jacket!

No, that’s not all. The real culprit is the news that our great HSBC, cunningly and sneakily, decided to cut interest rate to 0.001 % for deposits of HK$5000 or above. It was set at 0.01 % last March, and every Hongkongers were seen complaining then. Yup, in mathematical terms, it is loosely translated as for every $1000 you have, the bank pays you 1 cent. I guess that’s too small a figure to visualize, so if you have $100,000 in the bank, you get $1 as interest per year. Theoretical, you need to wait 20 years for your cup of Starbucks, and that’s only plain old coffee, not the Latte or Mocha! That Kopi had better be worth waiting around for, mind you.

It is rather insulting that your local bank, as HSBC so proudly and affectionately proclaimed, has made this decision to slash its savings rate to practically zero. And the sobering thought is, they still can insist on best lending rate of 5%. Bankers!!!! What can you say about these people, eh? They rip you to pieces in the loans and they squeeze you dry for any ‘extra’ money in your pocket. No wonder they say bankers are the greatest thieves and lawyers the worst criminals.

I don’t want to sound as a critic for a trade I knew the least, but I do have a simple plausible rational explanation to all these. They, the bankers, are doing this to stimulate the economy. Here are some of my logical plausible scenarios:

a. In the wake of the financial tsunami, and well before the 2nd wave, the about to pension bankers wanted a bit more in their gratuity. They give you much much lesser than the amount you ‘loan’ them.
b. In giving you less, you have two choices. Take the money out and invest in their stock. Or, put the money in their bank and keep whatever miserable dollar you have in your pocket.
c. Take the money out, buy a property and make a loan through HSBC. And, guess what, they will charge you 5% as the best lending rate.

Folks, you can’t win. You know why? In front of the headquarters, two bronze lions, Stephen and Stitt, closely guard the World’s Local Bank!

I am going for my Starbucks; I have no intention of wasting 20 long years for my kopi. Trust me, it is when life laughs at you for taking best savings strategy. And I will not save for the rainy days because a penny a day doesnt keep poverty away!