Tales from a Fortified City

I heard the Chinese government is gearing up all ‘necessary’ measures to make the Olympic Game a truly sporting event. Roughly, these translate to around 5 top security checkpoints, including one for entering the toilet! The so-called ‘necessary’ measures meant having a surface-to-air missiles regiment outside the birdnest to a person watching over your shoulder while you take a pee! I am not so sure if their intelligence unit had taken this as an ‘over-the-top’ priority but in war times, this would be the mobilization of full military defence line. But then again, this is China; a country that will surprise you at any time! So, beware. If you go there now, security people will check your ID once per hundred yard and you have no choice but to oblige smilingly.


The cost for all these security measure is approximately RMB 50 billion and if have no idea what a billion is like, please read my earlier blog. That bill is for the manning of around 110,000 top notch professional military and uniform personnel (all just about 6 ft tall, not an inch shorter or taller). Even in Hong Kong, some 2500 km away from the capital, we are deploying 4000 police to man the security. Needless to say, the HK police personnel comes in all odd shapes and sizes………..hey, we need the more able bodies to do the top-top security like protecting the Chief Executive!

And you know we are hosting the Equestrian event……..I am sorry but of all Olympic sports, this is just about the only one that I failed to appreciate and understand. What is dressage, eventing and jumping? Hey, mind you this is also the only sport in the Olympic that an animal is allowed……….it hadn’t cross your mind leh!!!!! I really pitied those damn horses for jumping and galloping in a weather that hardly dips below 33 C in the summer. Our own horses, those under the infamous Hong Kong Jockey Club, are taking the summer break because of the severe summer heat. I am beginning to wonder how many horses will die of heat stroke. In the first place how on earth did Beijing agree to Hong Kong bid to host the equestrian??? We begged just like our forefathers did by kowtowing to the emperor in the mandarin court? Or we think we know more about horses because we betted heavily and bet that Beijing will agree to our request? Whichever way, I am dead certain we have top top security as directed from Beijing. I know because I drove past an empty usually busy road this evening. In front of me is a beeline of police personnel, behind me is also a great-wall of trucks and coaches…….they even closed the river!! Erm, they probably read Datuk Lat’s hypothetical theory on how the Japanese Red Army hijacked the AIA building back in the 70s……hehehehe.

Since the game is in China, we can suggest some introductory games to the rest of the world. I can think of:

a. mahjong - under Taiwanese, Hong Kong and Cantonese rules

b. long marching - walking backwards

c. chinese kung fu - Panda

d. squatting - by the kerb side

e. spitting - ends with a 'tong'

f. cigarette smoking - 20 sticks per minute is the current world record

g. peeling and eating chicken feet.

Seriously, the heat is on Beijing to save the faces of 1.5 billion Chinese in this world. Everywhere I go, I see people claiming to be Chinese, half Chinese or even a fraction of a Chinese. Quite happily, people just wanted to be Chinese today unlike 20 odd years ago, we were labeled a Chinky and a facial expression of slid eyes like Fu Manchu. You now have a city under a thick layer of smog with the municipal government taking all measures to have a green Olympic. All factories are shut down or relocated. Cars in the city are allowed entry with even and odd numbers through the week. The migrant workers are ushered, no shoo, out of the city while the rest of the city’s construction is going full swing! When you are in Beijing, you are greeted with a new terminal, new newer buildings each taller than the other, three new metro lines and a host of environmental friendly public transportation. They banned practically everything except for Peking duck I am glad to add.

At the expense of everybody, they created an Olympic, their world their dream. My question is, although I played a minor role in the developments,…………is all these worth the penny? If you ask me if I have any regrets in life, I am most probable to say yes. Yes, being the fact that I turned down a free opening ceremony ticket. Today, it is rumoured to reach a tout value of $250,000 per ticket in the black market. What to do, I also happened to think pigs can fly too!