Kopi Tiam: Up, Up and Away

The Hong Kong Standard, a local newspaper, reported on its front-page “Airlines raise fuel surcharges”. Passengers will now have to pay 37 percent more in fuel surcharges because of rocketing oil prices. It is estimated most airlines will be able to recover only about 40 to 70 percent of their additional fuel costs through the fuel surcharges, said the newspaper.

I read this news with mixed feelings, sort of being awakened after from a time warp. When was the last time we see major corporations becoming so humane and transparent? I can’t recall any, to be honest. A passenger now knows, definitively, the airport tax, the fuel surcharge and the airfare as well. Awwwh! The pinch is too much to bear; the airport tax plus fuel surcharge is higher than my ticket! I think this is all too psychological, that airlines are sending a message they are not ripping us. Imagine if they say it cost you now $1370 to fly from A to B when it would cost us $1000 to fly in Jan 2008. What??? There has got to be a mistake, it can’t be so expensive! Whereas now we don’t make a fuss since each component of the cost is now itemized. Bravo! Cathay Pacific, I am sure I will arrive in better shape! I am also equally sure I will arrive in baffled state, since I have no idea I have been conned.

Now that air fuel is up by some 40%, what will our Air Asia do to counteract the problem? They have certainly come up with rather innovative ideas in the past to make us pay and at the same time make us think we are still flying cheap. I suspect some of their staff must have originated from one of the 52 moons in Saturn. Else why would they deprive us from food and drink during any flights? They must have gained the notion of going hungry during their long haul flights from Saturn to Earth. The lesser it weighed the lesser the fuel consumption mah, right? Plausible methods include:

a. putting wooden planks within the aisle to seat extra passengers
b. making the toilet seats available, or charging toilet fee every time you take a pee
c. sell nasi lemaks and Maggie mee with a surcharge and inflation rate
d. sell nasi lemaks as though they are in the commodity market
e. standing passengers?
f. Take away all arm rest and squeeze 4 passengers onto a 3 seater
g. Open up another class, Cargo Class

You see, now everyone can fly despite the rising fuel prices!!!!!

On the same day, the Star newspaper in my home country reported “Petrol stations located in the border states of Johor and Perlis will be barred from selling petrol and diesel to foreign-registered cars starting Friday.” I don't think this is achievable because administration is a problem.

You don't sell the foreign-registered cars but our boys working at the petrol kiosk don't have the eyes of an expert. I think false number plates are in hot demands now especially near the border areas.

You also find used kerosene tanks in demand and you will also find the border’s hospital running out of space. Why? Too many cases of gasoline stomach due to over-sucked siphoning act, and too many people getting high due to over sniffing of petrol.

You will also find make shift petrol kiosk in the hinterlands of rustic small towns inducing the risk of arson. Small kampong tak ada bomba lah…

You will find road-side fruit stalls selling bottles of petrol instead of fruits

You will find new petrol kiosks at exactly 50.0001 km outside the barred zone mushrooming up over-night.

You find more activities of daylight smuggling. All the uncles and aunties start carrying combustible petrol putting whatever remaining hair they have at great risk!

Last but not least, my Ah Pek from Caltex will take even longer to fill my car’s tank. My Ah Pek will double-up his duty as CIA-FBI-KGB cum petrol attendant! He will question each driver with the authority vested upon him, and I can tell you it will not be good!

This oil crisis is going to make our life a living hell. I still remember my first encounter, as a child, of the oil crisis back in 1973. I hear words i don't understand like oil crisis, oil embargo, Arabs etc etc when the said oil price was something like US$23 per barrel! Today it is US$128 per barrel but I don't hear and still don't understand oil crisis, oil embargo or the Arabs. Why huh?

But then again, it will eventually dawn on to humble folks like us ultimately. We humble folks are no menteri nor wakil rakyat but this is what we think they should implement: