Dollar and Sense

The past weekend marked another billionaire in my home country, making it 10 instead of 9 in 2007. The news of another billionaire in Malaysia, to me, is just another incomprehensible figure and admittedly I read it rather amusingly. I remember decades ago when Forbes listed Robert Kuok as the billionaire, I innocently included my name at the very bottom of the list. It was one of those sheepish dreams of yesteryears; it was also the same naivety of childhood that I could better Robert in my later part of life. Sadly or gladly, this dream never realised and I now read the news from a different perspective.

What is wealth when you are over a certain threshold? You wont be able to use the money, they are just figures but with many many zeros behind the front number. You probably need a hundred accountants to keep track of your wealth for which you, or your future generations, will not be able to use it to the fullest. To get a better perception of this astronomical figure, a US$1 billion is equivalent to length of 5 times the earth's circumference covered by US$100 when aligned edge to edge, or if you start counting U$1 per second, you need ten years to complete this feat, notwithstanding the compounded interest! I often told my friends, my siblings and even to new acquaintances, money not spent is not yours. I should make it clear that I am talking in literal terms here. Say how much did you spend this year? “Oh! Let me see, I spent a million on LV on one of our spontaneous jest in Paris and won the bet because I spent a million bucks in under 2 hours. And a couple of thousands euros at Hotel De Paris in Monte Carlo, serenade with a choice of vintage wine and won handsomely at the baccarat table. Auctioned at Christie’s for a few bargain prices portraits and sold recently with an unexpected profit margin. And………..all in all, I did not spend a cent from my coffer, come to think of it, love.” See, it is still not your money!! Geram lah!!!

I am not rich per say, but I am also not poor on the very same par. I can’t say I will be a billionaire in my living years but I will say I won’t be in the billionaires’ club even when I have long gone to heaven. Don't get me wrong, I am no sour grape or a green eyes monster (as my younger sister so profoundly puts it), but I do care about the milestones to chart a few dollars in my journey of life. I am happy if I have $10 million in the bank and I will not be any happier if I have $100 million in the same bank. Indeed, I can only cope with a limited number of zeroes in my bank account else the excitement will increase with my blood pressure.

Given the fact I am not hungry for anything more than 7 zeroes, I reckoned I will be wealthier if I can have the best health than anything greater than 8 zeroes. You can either agree with me or dispute my claim as ludicrously illogical. I have just calculated my life-time savings, which is about 1.01 billion Vietnamese dung (ehhh…sorry Dong). I am now in the same league as the rest of the billionaires in Malaysia; perhaps Forbes should now consider listing my name at the very bottom.Latest list of Forbes Malaysia Billionaires
1) Robert Kuok, US$10 billion.
2) Ananda Krishnan, US$7.2 billion.
3) Lee Shin Cheng, US$5.5 billion.
4) Teh Hong Piow, US$3.5 billion.
5) Lee Kim Hua & family, US$3.4 billion.
6) Quek Leng Chan, US$2.4 billion.
7) Yeoh Tiong Lay & family, US$2.1 billion.
8) Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary, US$1.8 billion.
9) Vincent Tan, US$1.3 billion.
10) Tiong Hiew King, US$1.1 billion.
11) K K Yin, 1.01 billion Vietnamese Dungs

There I made it, my childhood dream realised at long last!!!!!!

Incidentally, why do we insist on US$ as the benchmark? Why can’t we have the Vietnamese Dong instead? It will certainly make our esteem a bit more sweeter and make at least a couple of millions of us billionaires except for my poor niece who squandered her would-be billion dungs on Hari Botak and the sequels of half baked potatoes! Or we could also use the ringgit as the benchmark, and it would make a further handful of people in dire need of explanation as to how they make their billions! ding ding!!!!