The Elusive Cup of Tea

This world is getting weirder by the day. I don’t know if it was just me but when we found our ‘other half’, we will announce discreetly to those close to us. Or, only to admit when we are ‘caught’ being together. I say this because my dear niece took the value of announcing her other half to another height. And yes, you probably would have guessed correctly, it was through The Facebook. I can’t say much for today’s technology, though it may be seamless in many ways and gets the message across at the instance of a “tap”; it does have its limitations. Surreal it may be for people like us, the generation who has yet to fully comprehend information at the speed of light, nevermind the notion of software’s upgrades at the rate of changing clothes, are evidently lost. Do we attribute this as technological advances? Or, simply out of touch!

By the time the good news got to us, and yes it was through my sister’s and my offsprings, we went straight into the old way. We deliberated for days (that’s how slow things can move for oldies like us) as to who is the right person to make the phone call, which was a relief because I had the worry that my brother may prompt one of us to write via snail mail to her. Whilst we may have ‘progressed’ via exchanging our views through emails, the way in which we approached the issue was simply appalling. We considered, imagined, reconsidered, weighed and digress until the news has gone stale. For my niece, it was simply “Status changed” and everybody in her generation got the message she was hitched. Quite simple, Q.E.D. And the question to us is why we have to put ourselves into the gruelingly agonizing phase of considering the pros and cons of prompting her that innocent question. Yes, as elders we do enjoy the privy of being told, not ask! I suppose it was the ‘face’ value that led us to think of a nice way to ask her, out of curiosity and impatience. Instead, we went through long email exchanges.

Me: Just to share with you a piece of good news. Rumour has it that Ah Mei has found a boyfriend. Apparently, all in their generation are aware of it except oldies like us.

My brother: This is good news indeed. Can’t wait to see the photos

Me: For your eyes only.......hahahahaha

My Brother: Looks ok. How old is he and from where? Any idea?

Me: Ehhhhhhhhhh.......that's where your service comes in. Fah and myself deliberated in great length last nite and we arrived at a common consensus. You are the best person to call and find out! What was known in the FB, as stalked by Fah, he is from Kulai and suspected to be the brother of Mei's fren. Needs confirmation from your call to 2nd sis. Can you do the honour? If so, plse ask his occupation too

My brother: Pandai you both. Its odd for me to call her out of the blue so will wait till end Aug when mother goes HK and father is alone at home. Then i will have reason to call her. If both of you are impatient, suggest Fah to call as she talks to her more often. Perhaps a better proposition is that you call, this is a golden opportunity???

Me: Semua Tai-chi master sekarang!

My sister: Exactly, all desperado turn tai chi expert! I mustered enough courage to call them just now but of course I said u guys made me do it. Hihihihi.....

Anyway, Kiong was right, that guy is fr Saleng . He's now working in Senai. I did asked abt his job but it was a bit noisy when mei mentioned it. Sorry to say I was a bit deaf n didn't get wat she told me. Next time will check again. He's actually Ah Niu's school mate. They did go for yum char on n off since last yr but only now decided to "click".

Mei said he's a hardworking fellow, not much bad habits as in gambling etc... Well, she said will introduce to us during new year. I told her to post more updates so we can know the details. There u are, just a bit of news to satisfy your curiosity.

Me: Yes, fairy tales. Don't we all wish for fairy tales ending? Hahahah.. Anyway, that elusive cup of tea is all we are waiting for. Time to attend one lah.....and we are still waiting.

My brother: Come to think of it, our side is very slow (have not even started) compared to the Prawn & Pig families!

My Sister: Yup, our necks are longer than the giraffes with all the waiting. High time to have some celebration on our side! Hope it will come soon, high time for something to celebrate and look forward to.

With this, we hope the elusive cup of tea is just within our reach and about time we take our respective seats in the Elders Hall of Fame and await for that elusive tea. Seated, of course, as deserving elders of the clan!

雨中岁月

I am not so sure if I can express this explicitly. 雨中岁月, in all its profoundness, was coined while I was hospitalised two weeks ago. A week in isolation and a week of rain do invoke a share of the bitterness of the bygone years. I don’t know if this is just me but rainy days have often, and for most of the time, been successful in opening the gap of nostalgia. More so, when I am about the face an impending change in my life and I have yet the fully comprehend the consequences.

With each patter of the rain onto the window’s glass, lies a sense of lingering thoughts silently creeping within the mind. Yes, it was yesterday when we may have nothing and yet we had everything. Life’s little parcels of subtlety dawns onto us, something we cannot measure materially. I still remember, as a child, looking into the cold dawn sky and awaiting/hoping for the morning rain to come. For it was only when it rains that mum will stay at home and make us Yong Tauhu and other delicacies. Naively, and it hadn’t occurred to me then, I had harboured the thoughts of rain coming everyday. Mum was paid a measly wage, not even a salary, so to speak.

We may laugh at it now, how life’s little offerings then can brings bundles of savouring joys and happiness as we joked around the dining table with seemingly idiotic topics. We were too young to understand behind these family’s joys lied the reality of worries my parents had to endure and the patience to see us grow up sensibly. I guess the rains of yesteryears may have covered the tears of unhappiness in their eyes. Or, we are simply too young to tell the differences.

As the years rolled on, I tend to have a newer perception of rain. Rain doesn’t pour in the UK; it simple drizzles helplessly through the day. Being nostalgic was never on the agenda as the priority is to complete the university life and get on with life. I see rain as something emphatically a fact of life there and we can do nothing about it. Perhaps, this was the reason why the years in UK were virtually blank within my memory bank. There are people, some simply flashed by, some still in acquaintances, nonchalantly chatting enthusiastically about the university’s life after 20 odd years. I just cannot figure out the thrills and funs within the vacuum of my university years, although I did have a lengthy one.

Today I may seemingly have almost everything and yet I still have nothing. You may say I am drooling melancholy into the rhythm of this rainy night. You may even say I am not willing to face the ironic truth and twist in life. But I have come so far and yet I still feel the sense of sadness with every step I take. The years have left me even deeper in loss however much the material world may have so generously bestowed onto my life. Material gains are never important in my journey of life and yet is being sought blindly by someone once closed to me. I can only say “雨中岁月留给我更深的迷惘”. My only consolation is, life is only as meaningful as you want it to be. Perhaps a rhapsody in the rain may, at times, camouflage the tears of life’s deeper puzzles.

Happy 51st Birthday to myself, amidst the profoundness of this pouring night.

A Laksa Sojourn in Guiyang

Today I was asked to fly straight to Guiyang, without much notice to attend an adhoc meeting on Wednesday. This is not my first trip to Guiyang, in fact, a second trip to this ‘not-so-look-forward’ city. The only difference is I got to stay at Sheraton (and I have accumulated another few hundred points on the Starwood Preference Guests gimmick) and fly first class too. Now, in China, flying first class isn’t really first class. It is just a compartment with lesser people, so to speak.

And, the usual travelers’ woes in China prevailed! No matter what you say or hope, DELAYS are unavoidable. The plane was stuck at the apron, stewardess duly notifying all first class passengers of the ‘busy’ sky over Shenzhen. A fellow first class passenger, perhaps some rich Chinese rag-to-riches entrepreneur, unleashed his Vertu cell phone and made a call. In a matter of 15 mins, the plane (probably the only one) was allowed to pull back and ready to fly. As the plane pulls back, he got another call and duly thanked the other party for lending a hand. This is China and it is probably the only country that something of this nature can happen.

Anyway, it was a short 1hr 45 mins flight and I hardly finished the movie when the plane touched down at Guiyang and we were immediately ushered out via the VIP channel. Just like that……..and you are out of the airport, picked up by a fleet of limos. How is that, eh? That, incidentally, meant you are left with an empty stomach, devoid of a cigarette lighter (that’s China!) and got yourself into the room feeling hungrier than before you left. I had wanted to cut down my weight because of an impending surgery next month but the roar of the acids in my stomach is just too much to bear. Flipping through the room service, something caught my eyes. Yes, it was Malay Curry Laksa 180g ( I don't think we weigh our laksa back home, do we?).

Being away from home, I couldn't succumb to the temptation and hastily dial for room service. I asked the lady why is it listed as Curry Laksa? I hate to admit this but my mandarin is just not good enough in China, nor is my English. The lady made a quick decision and wisely revert the call to the chef.

I may be hungry but I can detect that accent even when my ears are stuffed full of wax! “Allo, eh can help you odour?” No, you can’t help me with my odour, I have my deodorant, but you can explain to me when is a laksa curry and vice versa. “Har”, he echoed faintly over the phone, “no, tis iis laksa lah, Ma-Lai-Si-Ya one”. “Yu wan or not, we can make hot hot one for you”. At this point, perhaps it was the hunger, or perhaps I was exhausted and I whispered YES.

The Malay Curry Laksa came and I eat it hungrily. Only to discover this may be the hottest laksa I have had the pleasure to savour. I am a laksa connoisseur, and tonight I cannot tell whether it is a delicacy of taste or a delicacy of passion. Apart from the ‘pedas-ness’, I can’t remember anything about it. The sweat beads instantly accumulated over my forehead and I had to wipe the sweats while they came out like Niagara Falls. Yes, even with a temperature of 14C in Guiyang, the sweat came on and on. Now I know what is Malay Curry Laksa 180g! 180g means the weight of your sweat!

This may be the most gratifying moment for me, to taste the Malay Curry Laksa 180g at an unearthly hour. More ironic is the fact that I had a sojourn with Malay Curry Laksa in Guiyang and to endure the excruciating experience of perspiring profusely while I ate on a breezy yet cool evening. Laksa, as they say, is best eaten at home……..not in a foreign land. Selamat malam orang kampung!

Attitude or Personality

I have this amazing experience over the week-end; it did not happen once, that much I can assure you. The truth is it happened a good few times before I was asked by my buddy to write a blog on this odd-ball. He has made a special request that this blog should be satirical enough to stir some laughters, only for the smart witted readers, but not serious enough to hurt the person, yes perhaps the one and only of his kind left in this world. I am torn between words of truth and being satire. No, that’s an understatement for I actually struggled to sound nice when it irks.

This particularly bloke is actually a rather nice man when he is sober but intoxicated after about two bottles of beer, he turns to Mr. Hyde. You have people who seem nice and normal, and then in a matter of minutes turned into a clone of our infamous Perkasa Ali chap. Alas, unless you are really in a good mood, having to last his demonic sermon over the entire evening is somewhat an arduous task, even the 20 years old Chivas will not save you the wrath. If I may, I like to offer a theory to sum up this behavior. It is what I called “The Unbearable Beings of a Socially Suppressed Soul” and “The Insurmountable Needs to Hallucinate”. I think you get my point, either way it will drive a soul from mentally sound man into delusion.

The deluded bloke has this belief that he is born with three ominous signs, good grief he did not say three wise men went in search of him! A. he has brought along the gifted sword; B. the command flag and last, C. the imperial seal. I am usually an open-minded person, and I tend to accept myths and beliefs but towards him I tend to be remained cynical. Not sure if anyone would agree, despite the fact that I may slur in my speech (after heavy intoxication), I am skeptical to whatever he has to say. Mind you, he never changed his story and that was what is so amazing about him. They say if you keep telling the same lie for 100 times, or even 1000 times in his case, you will eventually believe it is true. I consulted a psychiatrist friend of mine, and he acknowledged this fact. Subconsciously the mind will turn blur pieces into crystal clear logically tied frames.

I am a moralistic type of person. And I loathe the way he boasts about his future billions and belittling you in the process. The reality is, at 50, he is still as broke as me. I may not be a fortune teller but I am certainly unconvinced that time is on his side to realize his 30 billion ringgit in liquid assets. Yes, that’s how much he is bragging of his future 30B. As if making a mockery of my humble pocket is his favorite past-time, his infamous moronic gesture would be, “Would putting 10M into your business venture good enough for you?” It hurts if one’s pride is persistently bombarded in that manner, that I am speaking from myself. I am not a beggar, I don't have a business but an ordinary average Joe who is an employee of a firm and last but not least, 10M is nothing (I may not have it) in today’s financial world. In one instance, it did occur to me what the outcomes were if I smashed the empty beer bottle over his head. I calculated my chances on where the blood would spurt; making sure my newly bought shirt is not stained from the oozing fountain of blood. Do I hack him once, or twice, or endless rounds of poundings? Nah, I have regained my composure for just as short as a time I spent on ways of smashing his head.

I think the whole thing about his ‘future’ asset is a bit of the old adage about money calls for money. In some way, I do sympathise him. Even if he were to make it, it is still like a hamster in a wheel, forever running for more. I rather am the humble average Joe than the hamster with 30B, would you?

And I have to agree with what Melody said all along, “I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality you can’t handle”. I concede it's probably me that can't handle his personality rather than his attitude. Am I being too nice to him, bro?

星巴克

They says “when it Rome, do as the Romans do”. How appropriate or inappropriate when it comes to China. I was away on a business trip last week, and ended up at Starbucks with the hope of bashing a last minute report and a sip of their kopi. That was my naive intention, not knowing in China, or perhaps particularly in Suzhou, Starbucks ambience doesn't exist. Or, was it just this particular outlet? This must be the noisiest, most unkempt and unruly rowdy that I have ever given the ‘pleasure’ to experience.

The whole saga began after I placed my order for an ordinary brewed coffee. Well, to be more precise, immediately after I made my order. “No more brew coffee”, that was their reply to my order. I looked at my watch, it was like 8pm. Isn’t that a wee bit early to shut off the coffee brewer? I felt short of passing out a sarcastic statement like “ok, Starbucks in China operates differently”, but decided to shut my mouth and ordered an Americano instead. You have to understand it was a freezing 3C when I walked into Starbucks and I have no intention of walking back without having my body properly warmed! I sat down after I was given the Americano and attempted to login their grueling Wi-Fi. What I didn't know, in China or in Starbucks China, you are given a whole page of Chinese wordings and mostly in the oddest short forms. And yes, they asked you the minutest details down to what’s your grandfather’s name and his mobile phone number (optional). You fill up as much as you can without realizing for most of the time the required details are simply superfluous and redundant. That’s half a cup of Americano to wake up your frozen system and to dig deep into your memory bank to search for the address of your last visit to China. Not realizing, if you ever bothered to intrude privacy (just a small peek will do), others next to me simply click “OK”. So why trouble us with so many questions when you can simply click “OK” instead? Am I being stupid or just being naive to give grandfather details in full length?

Next, the outlet was thronged with party goers instead of coffee connoisseurs or pretenders whatever you may choose to call them. Sitting close to my table, and yes it is THAT close, is a group of ladies in the shortest shorts and mini-skirts one can ever imagined, yes at 3C, and chirping merrily about their romantic catches. I don't know if it was just me but Chinese ladies’ are generally pitchy (plus bitchy for this group, if I may add), I wonder how they can get away with such high pitch and not feeling bad on the throat the next day. This lady, bosom-ly fat, said this and I almost choked myself with my Americano. She said, and this is exactly word for word, “my boss had blood oozing out of his nose the other day when I wore this deep V blouse the other day”. I took a peek, out of curiosity, and no this woman is not classified as having an ample bosom. The nearest description is a flat slab of fat somewhere near the bosom. And the sequel to that confession was, “that’s not right, you ought to wear a scarf next time you wear the deep V. I had this man following me for 4 km from railway station to where I live!!! (giggle giggle damn!)” Is that so, I asked myself. Well, why the hell did you walked 4 km in the first place??? And in the 2 hours or so, I must have been taught, reluctantly, a lesson or two on what women, in general, think of themselves. I guess a woman’s perception will always remain a mystery to man, or more appropriately Chinese ladies wearing short shorts and miniskirts in the coldest winter.

Was it a myth that Suzhou is a land of beaus? Wasn't the city a place of culture in the country’s golden age of literacy? Is it the group of ladies that shattered my dreams, was it Starbucks, or was it the place itself? I don't have the answer, perhaps it was a combination of all put together………..and perhaps, time has changed!

I left that evening feeling chilled to the spine, not because of the cold winter, but the tales from bosom, love, cheats to legs, the noises and the unbearable closeness to a sea of fellow strangers....and humming my version of good old John Lennon's Imagine....imagine there's no Starbucks...imagine all the people vanishing.....

Gong Xi Fa Cai

It is the 24^th day of the twelve month in the lunar calendar. The northern folks celebrate the “Xiao Nian” on the 23^rd whilst the southern counterparts do it on the 24^th. And yes folks, it is the time to usher yet another year in the lunar calendar. A time where most of us, home or abroad, will press ahead with the preparation, (and yes, my brother will do it the last minute) to celebrate the most festive of all Chinese festivals. Such sentiment is probably a reflection of something inside us, not sure what that is but somehow it has something to do with the nostalgic feeling like one have been transported back to the past. It’s actually a nice feeling, longing for the past and familiar things or places that we once experienced. Some may say that CNY these days are indeed very different from the bygone years, yet some may still insist that CNY and all those superstitions remained despite the changing of time. I don’t know about others but I belong to the generation of older fashion, and it is times like these that I have the urge to go home and be with my folks. I would………if not because of ……..I shall keep the reasons to myself and hope others do celebrate, by and large, a happy lunar new year.

Life does work in a peculiar manner, somewhat ironical way if you insist. Whilst others are heading for last minute shopping, booking the last flight out or whatever, I choose to stay behind for what is my very first CNY in Hong Kong. Not bad for an old git like me, trying out new things in my autumn years. It is my 19^th years in HK, and I will stay here, alone, to celebrate the New Year in the comfort of my humble abode. I am not sure if spending the New Year alone in a foreign land is a good idea especially when your heart is already home. Yet, I am going to give it a try and subconsciously I have a feeling this year is going to be different than the years I have known. But that’s life, and life can sometimes be really paradoxical. It may not be the CNY you knew, certainly not the best but you may have to muster the courage to live through lest you are oblivious of your own existence. To appreciate the best, you need to value the alternatives. Or, bluntly and inextricably straight “Beggars have no choice”.

I hate to admit this but drooling into the night and nostalgically humming along melancholy the evergreens of CNY songs alone via YouTube (why did they invent internet, by the way??), is not exactly the kind quintessential spirit of CNY. The singers may have changed with time but the timeless songs and lyrics lingered on in total serenity. It is also moments like this, that you will, undoubtedly, resort yourself to a spectrum of hallucination of yesteryears. Strangely, if we examine our thoughts, we will find the past as the sweetest despite those bitter years. I remember now, as I remembered then, the smell of the lingering aroma of mum’s signature dish “Kau Yuk” and the overly fizzy Sarsi to drown oneself under the heat of our Malaysian zinc roofed home. Guess I will attempt to make one for myself on New Year’s Eve and feast it without Sarsi. With a bit of imagination over the anticipation of the joys of yesterdays, the “Kau Yuk” should taste just as fine……..I hope.

I have digressed too much tonight. Maybe it is the wintry cold night, maybe it is the time of the year to be at home, or maybe it is the guilt of not being to be near my old folks. The bottom line is, CNY is just around the corner and feeling homesick is always forgiven. 我想有个家……

祝你们春节快乐，年年高升, 事事順利

All We Want For Christmas

This Christmas I can't think of anything else but this.......

My brother wrote this touching email in search of my long lost aunt.

Dear Sister Maria,

Thank you very much for spending time to meet me and my sister last month Nov 10 on the case of my auntie given up for adoption. Once again, we apologise for dropping by without prior calling you to make an appointment.

Since our discussion, i have been eagerly awaiting to hear from you and was wondering whether there was any development to your follow up checking of my mother's sister.

To recap, i provide again below some pertinent info that might help with this case. Note names below might vary in spelling :- Father's name - Chew Kong or Chew Yit Kong Mother's name - Chin Foong Long lost daughter - Chien Moi Birth Certificate - issued in Kulai, Johor. Handed to Convent during adoption and should have parent's name as above. Date of Birth - believed to be 16th Feb 1947 Name of Convent - in mandarin translated as "Huang Chia Tian Chu Jiao Tang".

My auntie was brought to the Convent by my late maternal grandfather when she was about 2 years old, probably in 1949 for adoption. Understand the nuns then wore white hat, black gown with alot of bells at bottom of gown. He was told by the Convent that the daughter given up for adoption could be redeemed back anytime before she was 8 years old.

Unfortunately due to very tough times then, she was not redeemed within the 8 years. This was made worse by the fact that my late grandfather went back to China in the early 1950's and since then was not able to return because communism had taken over China. Years passed and it was not until my late grandfather told my mother in late 1980's that she had a sister given up for adoption in Singapore. It was his dying wish that they be reunited one day. My mother did advertise in Singapore Chinese papers then but there was no response received.

My late grandfather passed away in early 1990 without knowing the fate of his long lost daughter. My mother is now 76 years old and her only wish is to be able to locate this sister (only sister left).

You had mentioned that the Convent's archives is now closed and cannot be reopened. My mother and i seek your kind assistance for humanitarian reasons to assist with opening of the archives to retrieve any available info on my long lost auntie so that we know where she is now and attempt to reconcile the sisters which had already been separated for about 61 years now. The privacy reasons that you raised in our discussion is understandable but i consider this more than just a matter of privacy. In everything, there is a closure and solong as we do not know what her current status is, there would be no closure to what my mother is enduring now. I am very sure that in such circumstances, my long lost aunt would be very, very happy to know she has a long lost sister and it is my belief she would jump at the opportunity to be reunited with her.

This is not about taking away someone's else privacy, it is about bringing lots of joy and happiness to 2 sisters. And more importantly, a closure to 61 years of suffering and emotional torment endured by my late grandfather and my mother now. We as children want to do what we can to help her and we wish for your kind help too in this regard.

If she can be located, to overcome the privacy issue, we are prepared for you to first contact her and ask her whether she would want to meet up with her sister. We will respect her decision. Alternatively if you cannot locate her, any leads you can provide to us in respect of her possible whereabouts would be very much appreciated. We will then follow up and investigate ourselves.

On behalf of my mother and siblings, i thanked you for your kind consideration and assistance in this difficult issue which if resolved could bring great joy and happiness to all. We eagerly await to hear from you. May God bless you for your good deeds and best wishes for a merry Xmas/New Year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY THE LIGHT OF HOPES SHINE ON ALL OF US.