A Laksa Sojourn in Guiyang

Today I was asked to fly straight to Guiyang, without much notice to attend an adhoc meeting on Wednesday. This is not my first trip to Guiyang, in fact, a second trip to this ‘not-so-look-forward’ city. The only difference is I got to stay at Sheraton (and I have accumulated another few hundred points on the Starwood Preference Guests gimmick) and fly first class too. Now, in China, flying first class isn’t really first class. It is just a compartment with lesser people, so to speak.

And, the usual travelers’ woes in China prevailed! No matter what you say or hope, DELAYS are unavoidable. The plane was stuck at the apron, stewardess duly notifying all first class passengers of the ‘busy’ sky over Shenzhen. A fellow first class passenger, perhaps some rich Chinese rag-to-riches entrepreneur, unleashed his Vertu cell phone and made a call. In a matter of 15 mins, the plane (probably the only one) was allowed to pull back and ready to fly. As the plane pulls back, he got another call and duly thanked the other party for lending a hand. This is China and it is probably the only country that something of this nature can happen.

Anyway, it was a short 1hr 45 mins flight and I hardly finished the movie when the plane touched down at Guiyang and we were immediately ushered out via the VIP channel. Just like that……..and you are out of the airport, picked up by a fleet of limos. How is that, eh? That, incidentally, meant you are left with an empty stomach, devoid of a cigarette lighter (that’s China!) and got yourself into the room feeling hungrier than before you left. I had wanted to cut down my weight because of an impending surgery next month but the roar of the acids in my stomach is just too much to bear. Flipping through the room service, something caught my eyes. Yes, it was Malay Curry Laksa 180g ( I don't think we weigh our laksa back home, do we?).

Being away from home, I couldn't succumb to the temptation and hastily dial for room service. I asked the lady why is it listed as Curry Laksa? I hate to admit this but my mandarin is just not good enough in China, nor is my English. The lady made a quick decision and wisely revert the call to the chef.

I may be hungry but I can detect that accent even when my ears are stuffed full of wax! “Allo, eh can help you odour?” No, you can’t help me with my odour, I have my deodorant, but you can explain to me when is a laksa curry and vice versa. “Har”, he echoed faintly over the phone, “no, tis iis laksa lah, Ma-Lai-Si-Ya one”. “Yu wan or not, we can make hot hot one for you”. At this point, perhaps it was the hunger, or perhaps I was exhausted and I whispered YES.

The Malay Curry Laksa came and I eat it hungrily. Only to discover this may be the hottest laksa I have had the pleasure to savour. I am a laksa connoisseur, and tonight I cannot tell whether it is a delicacy of taste or a delicacy of passion. Apart from the ‘pedas-ness’, I can’t remember anything about it. The sweat beads instantly accumulated over my forehead and I had to wipe the sweats while they came out like Niagara Falls. Yes, even with a temperature of 14C in Guiyang, the sweat came on and on. Now I know what is Malay Curry Laksa 180g! 180g means the weight of your sweat!

This may be the most gratifying moment for me, to taste the Malay Curry Laksa 180g at an unearthly hour. More ironic is the fact that I had a sojourn with Malay Curry Laksa in Guiyang and to endure the excruciating experience of perspiring profusely while I ate on a breezy yet cool evening. Laksa, as they say, is best eaten at home……..not in a foreign land. Selamat malam orang kampung!