In a few hours, the world will usher the coming of 2009 and with that, a rousing finished to 2008. It was a year of mixed fortunes and someone, out there, must have made trillions out of the financial market if the statement “6 trillions has been wiped out from the global market” is true. It was a year that saw the US elected the first non-white president (makes no difference, actually. I have yet to see another black in his cabinet, think about it!!!) To me, this is absurd. Here is a nation whose citizen made the mistake twice just to be doubly sure and now they chose a greenhorn, as if telling the rest of the world they learned from their mistake. It was also a year that saw five of the Malaysian states going to the oppositions, and with it comes the series of our very own kampong politics. From what I can see, none of these parties are holier than the other. It probably is, to a certain degree, the lesser of two evils. I am not sure what to say except the fact that we are still at the experimental stage. Yes….all at the expense of the rakyat.Then there is the possibility of recession looming around the corner, but with some consolation from our leaders that the country is immune against such threat. Sure, how bad can it go when you are already at rock bottom? I suspect it may not be the case here, for they are probably too busy fighting inside-out and outside-in for whatever is worth gaining at the very top. I say no more about politics apart the fact that it is filled with dirt and shits, blunders after blunders and sometimes a combo, the dirt-shit-blunder.
Personally, I would recount 2008 as a year when the rich can become poorer and the poor can become even poorer with the only exception if you are already at the poorest. Well established institutions collapsed like a pile of cards and the dominos effect pushes one after another. Mind you, it is a year where you see your investments going fluid, and any cashes on hand is further liquidated by the diminishing value. The worst part of it, you can’t do anything about it except to watch and still counting the losses (the Hang Seng Index dropped by 13500 points during 2008!). I am not a sour-grape; my money is simply hard-earned with sweat and blood. I blame no one for my greed and succumb to the very notion of life being full of surprises that one can never predict what’s coming and going. It is a bit gloomy at the moment, but you can bet something different is over the horizon…….at least we hope it brings more good news.
On the lighter side, I started blogging despite being told all these years of its existence. The reason being I was unable to hold a theme. I wanted to write about politics but I was too naïve and unlearned, or more importantly I don’t want to end up being sued for saying the right thing at the wrong time. I wanted to write more on the nostalgic past, but early Parkinson took the better of me……..what did I just say?? I try to convince myself that I should write something comical but subconsciously being driven to write a combination of both satirical and comical. As it stands, these blogs were nothing more than a personal view designed to amuse oneself in the isolation of being alone. Nothing in it constitutes the notion of modern literacy, nor does it carries the elements of intelligence. Nah, just an ordinary kopi-tiam jargon whereby nobody cares what will transpire from the ordinary topics of chats. It is just a cheeky tease to something more subtle……..SO Beware, you have be warned.
Last but not least, I would like to end this blog with a new year’s resolutions and wishes. I hope to visit my parents more often in the coming year, spend more time with them and take them for a holiday; and good health for all.
HAPPY NEW YEAR and GOOD RIDDANCE 2008!
Yes, this Christmas unlike all my past Christmas’ was a bit of an adventure. I remember slumbering over the sofa through-out the Christmas holidays during my days in the UK, and watching repeat after repeats of yesterday’s blockbusters. For most of the time, these so called blockbusters are likely to be older than you. That’s how bored Christmas can be in England, of all places. Out of boredom, occasionally, some bored sods will scream out at 2am in the morning, followed by more counter-screams to shut up the bored sods. More like unspayed female cats making noises to call her mates.
Coming to HK years later, I opt to change the celebration……I drank on Christmas’ eve then slumbered to sleep over the special day. Christmas is still boring to me, even with the bustling street-lights and decorations in HK. I don’t have any excuses, perhaps I don’t have the Christianity fate……..errrrr that would make another 5 million people in HK as bored as me.
The distance from JB to Penang must be at least 630 km, making it closer to 1300 km in total. I guess I must have passed 1000 cars along the journey, not because I was over speeding……but a matter of ego. I wouldn’t tolerate all the kancils and protons over-taking me……..you know as the Chinese proverbial saying “mantis’ arm blocking a chariot”, no way! And likewise, more than 1000 cars must have overtaken me in the process because I was cruising for most of the time within my quantum of solace. But I am glad to add the toilets along the highway are immaculately clean…although mostly wet. I don't understand why Malaysian public toilets are ever notoriously WET, which, incidentally could be the fact we can’t aim properly or we flush our backside incessantly. And the stores…..mostly sell the same over-priced items without a sign of competitiveness and equally true, if not all, run by bumis. You can’t help but to beg the simple truth about our PM saying that the government provides equal opportunities to all Malaysians. Apart from the kopi-O kosong, the rest were simply unappealing to me. Why can’t the PLUS people get McD, KFC, Starbucks and the likes, to provide us with a wider range of choices instead of nasi lemaks, curry puff and mee rebus………and then be truly, indiscriminately and non-hypocritically seen as providing equal opportunities to all. I bet with my last $, that if they managed to get Harrods of Knightsbridge here, even selling winter wears will outdone our local souvenirs shops by a mile.
Finally, despite the existence of “undang-undang” on the Malaysian highways and other lists of operasi SIKAP XXIV or whatever, just remember there aren't any rules if you choose to drive in Malaysia. You just need to drive, and drive safely with your head ice-cooled from the heat of the afternoon sun. No honking, no swearing and lastly no kay-pohing, and the chances are you will eventually arrive home safely. That is……not until you leave the new JB checkpoint, with its ever meandering roads that brings you in and out of town, passing through uncountable amounts of road humps, hairpin bends and bumper to bumper speed that eventually let your chest explode and screamed out in disgust! Only then will you be allowed to honk, swear and kay-poh “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? IS THIS PLAIN STUPIDITY OR A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF WHAT CONSTITUTES BAD ENGINEERING PLANNING?” Yup, ironically Malaysia tu memang boleh! 
No Christmas celebration is complete until the Christmas Ball or dinner. That’s another downside of Christmas. You need a partner, and you are likely to spend days checking and deciding who you want to invite. Then you worried yourself over the “never overdressed, more importantly, don't look smarter than your boss” rule. In short, Christmas parties suck. You may wish to know that out of the 10 Christmas Ball I attended, I went away inappropriately dressed for the occasion! Our theme for this year was “Hollywood”, and I felt I dressed like an over-weight Marlon Brando amongst the pool of Brad 
Silent night, holy night,
This the season for generosity
I am not a marine specialist but whoever plans this must be really stupid and whoever attends must be dumb (yeah including mou!). Out there in the rough sea, what do you expect to see? Mind you, can you expect anything decent when all directions are simply a flat horizon? Apart from occasional trawlers and seagulls, I can’t see anything and this was made worse by poor visibility. The light buoys are only visible until we came close to colliding it. And as if this is not enough, we have the boat’s captain arguing with our client’s representative as to where HK is. I felt like saying…… “Hey, check your radar and compass!!! That’s a supertanker in front of us and HK is at the east easterly direction in front of you. In case you don’t know, try looking up on the sky, there are planes trying to land every 3 minutes of so, you idiot.” The Chinese (I am sorry for this degrading remark) loves arguing for the sake of arguing, never mind there are others who prefers to rest against the damn sea-sickness. I guess we went out enthusiastically and half-way through the journey, a number of my fellow professional fell sick and vomited sparingly all over the boat. Those who did not vomit (me) were shivering in the cold whilst the remaining portion went away puffing merrily and in the process reduces the visibility in the boat!
Amazingly, today I went back to my very first up-market dentist in Hong Kong. Yup, my last visit was back in 1998 at a time when others struggled and grumbled being burnt in the stock market. It was a time while others complained most about dwindling wealths; and I bittered my way out of a doom’s marriage. Ten years on, they still keep my file in delicate condition amongst other things albeit losing a few teeth in the process. 
As I trooped unsteadily to my dentist’s clinic, I was greeted with two smiling lasses at the reception desk. I couldn’t help but to wonder the condition of their teeth, perfectly flawless. No wonder they can afford to smile so beamingly and so effortlessly. I was escorted by a petite lady claiming to be my hygienist with pleasing manners. She is cute, I thought but not until she grines my teeth did I realise how tough small lady can be! She explained patiently how complicated the scaling can be, how long it would be and worst of all…….what the next round is to be. The next round is about deep scaling as I am suffering from early stage of gum disease called gingivitis. I don’t know why, but none of my other siblings seem to have any history of dental problems. I am the only exception!
I was a bit worried but this soon disappeared since I reasoned out that I am at her mercy as she grines, drill, polish and air abrase my teeth in just under one hour or a bit more. She must be the only person to scale my teeth so incessantly ruthless. But she did a good job by scaling out those stubborn plaque and tartar in sizeable pieces (don’t even think of saying something bad, I am not asking for an opinion here!!!). The other dentist (that’s round 2 unfortunately) is probably my hygienist mentor because she is equally nice. Within a few minutes I was seated and readily continued the whole process of sufferings again. This time the doctor pricked each teeth down to the jaw bones. Each time reading out, MB21 or LB23 or whatever. To me, knowing the meaning is meaningless but when will they finished is my question. 
When I young I used to wonder what it would be like to be an adult and the many thrills of having money in your wallet. It was a time when it’s no fun being a kid and all you hear were instructions, restrictions and more counter instructions. The idea of ‘fun’ just doesn’t exist and even if it does, it would be the barest ‘fun’ with no fun attached. Now that I am an adult (hmm…. no, middle age should be more appropriate), I realized it’s no better being an adult either. I still don’t have money in my pocket; ‘fun’ is still in the barest form. How unfortunate! Even the infamous “It’s about time. It’s about Change” hardly adds to the fun.
Having talked to my daughter and my niece, I now realize that one can receive the same level of excitement and satisfaction by simply gluing oneself to the chair next to a cafe and start surfing. Surfing can make you slave 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and if you are lucky, you get a reward; you can start to surf again. I am not against surfing, but not to the extent of surfing meaninglessly. I can’t say we spent, back in those wonderful days, quality time. We don't have computer, never-mind the lap top, all we had were counting cars based on pure memory. Yes, we also slave 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and if we are lucky, we get a reward; we made someone count for us.
Yes, life was indeed much simpler then. Even the songs were composed differently. You can hear each word (now, take this from me….words we think are not necessary words they sung) and hummed along effortlessly. You actually listen patiently, and to the mercy of the DJs to play the song you want. These days, you simply download any songs; erase them when you get tired of listening. Back in the old days, you have two choices either you wait for the heartless DJ to play your song or you buy the vinyl version. And in those days, I hear nobody complaining about sound quality. Amplifying it through a 5 ft loudspeaker is probably more important. And, strangely I hear no one singing in the toilet these days. Certainly not my daughter or the people belonging to her generation. So if you hear some flat tones coming somewhere near the toilet, you can be doubly sure that person is uncle or aunty without making any sensible guess.
Apart from the audio advancement, I have a strong passion and affiliation on the video part. My daughter’s impression of video is the DVD player, until I show her the monster projector. I had a tough time explaining to her the rattling sounds, burning of films and the sound system being camouflaged by an equaling loud generator. But more importantly, I managed to explain the open air cinema I experienced as a child. What about the mosquitoes and the rain, she asked. Yes, unfortunately the light from the projector attracted plenty insects and the screen are for most of the time covered with shadows of the insects. I can’t remember much about the rain especially during the monsoon months.
Sorry, it wasn’t me singing from the toilet!!!!
Coming in close at the second place is none other than the Jewish. You may have read why people of this race were shot, gassed or hung by the Nazi. What they hadn’t bothered were the details as to why such measures were singularly brought up just for the single race of Jews. According to unreliable researchers from the lesser known University of Frankfart, an unofficial archive suggested that the Jews were killed primarily for seeking refuge and overstaying in domiciles of their hosts. In this case, sadly, the hosts were the Nazi. 
Anyway, I am writing this blog for my dear older ‘blur’ brother (oh yes, your kind younger sister’s word, not mine!), with the hope that he will not visit her for a lengthy over-extended stay. Her son, according to her own judgment, is a late rusher when it comes to exam preparation. Anyway, he is probably just about to start organizing his first major milestone in his quest for education. Leaving him alone is probably a good idea! What do you think, Mr. Unplanned Planner?
