Gong Xi Fa Cai

It is the 24^th day of the twelve month in the lunar calendar. The northern folks celebrate the “Xiao Nian” on the 23^rd whilst the southern counterparts do it on the 24^th. And yes folks, it is the time to usher yet another year in the lunar calendar. A time where most of us, home or abroad, will press ahead with the preparation, (and yes, my brother will do it the last minute) to celebrate the most festive of all Chinese festivals. Such sentiment is probably a reflection of something inside us, not sure what that is but somehow it has something to do with the nostalgic feeling like one have been transported back to the past. It’s actually a nice feeling, longing for the past and familiar things or places that we once experienced. Some may say that CNY these days are indeed very different from the bygone years, yet some may still insist that CNY and all those superstitions remained despite the changing of time. I don’t know about others but I belong to the generation of older fashion, and it is times like these that I have the urge to go home and be with my folks. I would………if not because of ……..I shall keep the reasons to myself and hope others do celebrate, by and large, a happy lunar new year.

Life does work in a peculiar manner, somewhat ironical way if you insist. Whilst others are heading for last minute shopping, booking the last flight out or whatever, I choose to stay behind for what is my very first CNY in Hong Kong. Not bad for an old git like me, trying out new things in my autumn years. It is my 19^th years in HK, and I will stay here, alone, to celebrate the New Year in the comfort of my humble abode. I am not sure if spending the New Year alone in a foreign land is a good idea especially when your heart is already home. Yet, I am going to give it a try and subconsciously I have a feeling this year is going to be different than the years I have known. But that’s life, and life can sometimes be really paradoxical. It may not be the CNY you knew, certainly not the best but you may have to muster the courage to live through lest you are oblivious of your own existence. To appreciate the best, you need to value the alternatives. Or, bluntly and inextricably straight “Beggars have no choice”.

I hate to admit this but drooling into the night and nostalgically humming along melancholy the evergreens of CNY songs alone via YouTube (why did they invent internet, by the way??), is not exactly the kind quintessential spirit of CNY. The singers may have changed with time but the timeless songs and lyrics lingered on in total serenity. It is also moments like this, that you will, undoubtedly, resort yourself to a spectrum of hallucination of yesteryears. Strangely, if we examine our thoughts, we will find the past as the sweetest despite those bitter years. I remember now, as I remembered then, the smell of the lingering aroma of mum’s signature dish “Kau Yuk” and the overly fizzy Sarsi to drown oneself under the heat of our Malaysian zinc roofed home. Guess I will attempt to make one for myself on New Year’s Eve and feast it without Sarsi. With a bit of imagination over the anticipation of the joys of yesterdays, the “Kau Yuk” should taste just as fine……..I hope.

I have digressed too much tonight. Maybe it is the wintry cold night, maybe it is the time of the year to be at home, or maybe it is the guilt of not being to be near my old folks. The bottom line is, CNY is just around the corner and feeling homesick is always forgiven. 我想有个家……

祝你们春节快乐，年年高升, 事事順利

All We Want For Christmas

This Christmas I can't think of anything else but this.......

My brother wrote this touching email in search of my long lost aunt.

Dear Sister Maria,

Thank you very much for spending time to meet me and my sister last month Nov 10 on the case of my auntie given up for adoption. Once again, we apologise for dropping by without prior calling you to make an appointment.

Since our discussion, i have been eagerly awaiting to hear from you and was wondering whether there was any development to your follow up checking of my mother's sister.

To recap, i provide again below some pertinent info that might help with this case. Note names below might vary in spelling :- Father's name - Chew Kong or Chew Yit Kong Mother's name - Chin Foong Long lost daughter - Chien Moi Birth Certificate - issued in Kulai, Johor. Handed to Convent during adoption and should have parent's name as above. Date of Birth - believed to be 16th Feb 1947 Name of Convent - in mandarin translated as "Huang Chia Tian Chu Jiao Tang".

My auntie was brought to the Convent by my late maternal grandfather when she was about 2 years old, probably in 1949 for adoption. Understand the nuns then wore white hat, black gown with alot of bells at bottom of gown. He was told by the Convent that the daughter given up for adoption could be redeemed back anytime before she was 8 years old.

Unfortunately due to very tough times then, she was not redeemed within the 8 years. This was made worse by the fact that my late grandfather went back to China in the early 1950's and since then was not able to return because communism had taken over China. Years passed and it was not until my late grandfather told my mother in late 1980's that she had a sister given up for adoption in Singapore. It was his dying wish that they be reunited one day. My mother did advertise in Singapore Chinese papers then but there was no response received.

My late grandfather passed away in early 1990 without knowing the fate of his long lost daughter. My mother is now 76 years old and her only wish is to be able to locate this sister (only sister left).

You had mentioned that the Convent's archives is now closed and cannot be reopened. My mother and i seek your kind assistance for humanitarian reasons to assist with opening of the archives to retrieve any available info on my long lost auntie so that we know where she is now and attempt to reconcile the sisters which had already been separated for about 61 years now. The privacy reasons that you raised in our discussion is understandable but i consider this more than just a matter of privacy. In everything, there is a closure and solong as we do not know what her current status is, there would be no closure to what my mother is enduring now. I am very sure that in such circumstances, my long lost aunt would be very, very happy to know she has a long lost sister and it is my belief she would jump at the opportunity to be reunited with her.

This is not about taking away someone's else privacy, it is about bringing lots of joy and happiness to 2 sisters. And more importantly, a closure to 61 years of suffering and emotional torment endured by my late grandfather and my mother now. We as children want to do what we can to help her and we wish for your kind help too in this regard.

If she can be located, to overcome the privacy issue, we are prepared for you to first contact her and ask her whether she would want to meet up with her sister. We will respect her decision. Alternatively if you cannot locate her, any leads you can provide to us in respect of her possible whereabouts would be very much appreciated. We will then follow up and investigate ourselves.

On behalf of my mother and siblings, i thanked you for your kind consideration and assistance in this difficult issue which if resolved could bring great joy and happiness to all. We eagerly await to hear from you. May God bless you for your good deeds and best wishes for a merry Xmas/New Year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY THE LIGHT OF HOPES SHINE ON ALL OF US.

Epitome of Sheer Indulgence

I am not sure if I am correct in citing sheer indulgence, or was it a fact of soul searching. Nonetheless, I did pack my bag and braved Hangzhou at her bitterest winter. I chose the place because of its’ peace and tranquility, or more precisely, I fell in love when I was watching “If You Are the One”. I couldn't help it but seeing the main actor cruising amongst the deity willow trees along the banks of the wetland is more than enough than anyone can possibly ask. With that, I left Hong Kong for Hangzhou in the early noon last Friday. It was 7C when I left Hong Kong and -3C when I reached Hangzhou that afternoon.

I have never been to Hangzhou, be it for work or for leisure. For as much as travel is concerned, I never found difficulties in getting from one place to another. But Hangzhou turned out to be a nightmare for poor travelers like me. First, the taxi meanders from what was supposing a dual 3 lane carriageway to what I am most certain to be a dual 5 lane carriageway designed for buses, and speeding like Formula One. It came to no surprises if the taxi driver comes to screeching stop just millimeters from a potentially fatal accident. Throughout the journey, and it is 2 hrs from the airport to my hotel, I had, on several occasions, decided upon the various mode a person can get killed in a foreign land, leaving the rest of the time toying with regrets that I hadn’t done my WILL should anything happened to me. By the time I made it to the hotel in one piece, daylight has long become a forgotten past. The only consolation is what Banyan Tree can offer to tired, scare and undignified traveler like me. It was shivering cold when I entered the 5 storey lobby hall, with a cold draft trailing my back as I came in from the front entrance. I am not sure if I can push the wooden door with all my might under that cold spell but I probably can’t do it even on the mildest winter. It is rock solid wood as high as three storeys which, makes you wonder how the hell the doorman did it!

The first night wasn't much of an adventure except my room is the classic Banyan Tree “pamper oneself to death” type of interiors. I say this because it takes eternity to walk from one end of the room to the other, not forgetting the bathroom is a few times bigger than my whole apartment put together. The Hangzhou banyan tree went one step further, apart from the conventional bathtub; they gave you the tantalizing Elliptical Ofuro wooden tub. Is this sheer indulgence or what? One thing for sure, never ever does that if you are under 5ft 5 inches or more precisely if you have short legs. The height itself is a deterrence of shorties or wannabies. Then again, if you fancy a greater fall than Humpty Dumpty, be my guest!

The Xixi Wetland tour turned out to be more like an anti-climax because of the overly advertised picturesque setting in the movie. Alas, what I didn't know was the director had chosen Spring/Summer time to vividly account the beauty of Xixi as the backdrop. Here, I was confronted with branches and twigs, occasionally snow-capped, if not for the waterways, an arid condition. And yes, what you see in the movie aren’t necessary real. They are, in fact, the concoction of photography and carefully chosen angles. But I had my fun snapping what I believe Director Feng would have chosen had “If You Are the One” was shot in winter.

Though Xixi wasn't as beautiful in the winter as it would be in the summer, the hills of Hangzhou offers the best winter scenes I have ever experienced in my life. I braved myself through slippery icy and winding roads to the hill-top just to savage the essence of LongJing tea. I am not sure if it was the tea or the water or both that made the savoring the unique taste. That was the better part of the story, and the other part was, I am pretty sure I was slaughtered over the price of Longjing tea. You pay for what you think it is worth. There isn’t an upper limit, that I am very sure. The lower limit could be you ended up not taking any Longjing downhill.

There really is a lot to do in Hangzhou and I will definitely be returning again to see the places I haven’t had the chance to see in this bitter winter and most importantly to come back in the summer. But from now on, whenever I look into going on a holiday it will definitely be based around sheer indulgence. And, why not?

Profoundly Yours

I have often wondered which is sadder; life’s journey through lesser cross-roads or life’s journey through endless cross-roads. I don’t have an answer to this profound thought but I do solemnly believe one’s life is pretty much a pre-determined equation the moment one emerged into this world of reality. The only difference is where we place the unknowns and the constants. Or rather, should I say how I wished the equation is all constants and never changing.

Life is never that perfect, it comes with all forms of ‘unpredictable’ and these ‘unpredictable’ always come in series, endless to some poor sods like me. These so called ‘unpredictable’ happened partly because we don’t treat and respect what was coming? Or is it the way we handled it that led to a state of eternal inequilibrium? I am at some kind of another crossroad in my life, it is not about money; nor is it about belief; it is a question of integrity and dignity. An integrity that will soon lead to yet another failed relationship. A dignity that, you may claim, prevented the salvage of a relationship. In some way, the crisis has taken its toil and I am somewhat tired physically, stretched mentally and emotionally stricken.

All of a sudden, my life is, strangely, looking more like the deciduous trees. Everything has fallen apart except in no part does the falling away……. May I say the losing foliage resembles the very end of a relationship? Perhaps I must learn to comprehend the calamity that has befallen onto me. Perhaps I should give up, which is a bad way or perhaps, I should face the real hard way, and learn to fight back. And I am not writing this as a desperate attempt to resurrect a failed relationship that has lost its glory with time. This is also not a time to seek solace that shadows my sadness. Hard it may be that this once a decorative chapter of my very existence has come to an end. I am, as some put it, at a peculiar crossroad where time, place and eternity somehow meet, and my only problem is to find exactly where the missing part of the puzzle were.

I found this poem in the internet, and it somehow reflects my state of mind and soul.

I think and expect u to know
I feel and I assume you, too, experience life the same as I
So, I hide my thoughts and keep them for me
Because it is safe that way
The shadows belong to me
I have no reason to believe that you would leave
But my mind sometimes tells me otherwise
For, what if the darkness was too great for you?
What if the sadness overpowered you?
For that reason, I don’t want to take you with me
Rather, I need you to be constant, never changing
So, hold me when I need to be comforted
And release me when I just need space
And I will promise to slowly let you in.

This moment I will not forget. I hope I will not live to regret the decision I made today. In the words of Robert Frost, “I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference”.

Getting Old and Getting Use to It

Last Sunday I had an alarming experience. I was awakened by an excruciating muscle cramp on both my legs. I don’t think I can recollect an occasion where I have the attack on both legs at the same time. It just happened. To make it worse, my lower back (lower right to be exact) developed an intense spasm. Yes, you can’t move a single muscle as it will only make the situation more unbearable. It is definitely not a temporal paralysis because I knew I could move my muscles if I wanted to.

I suppose this is part and parcel of getting old. It’s inevitable. With old age comes a myriad of mysterious ailments that may be associated with the decrease in bodily functionality. Irregardless how much supplements one may care to take, there comes a time where the body will deteriorate. Of course, there is no reason why one should not continue taking more supplement. I am an advocate of prevention is better than cure.

And I am going to take the Transfer Factor. Honestly, I have no idea what this supplement will do, but I do trust my good buddy. If he is taking, I will follow suit. I do hate the sight of me wriggling on the floor like a gigantic overweight worm the other day, and I will do anything except a repeat of that deplorable sight.

The back spasm, according to my GP, is a muscle inflammation. I have reasons to believe in what he said because an injection and a round of pain killers seemed to have it cured. But I do acknowledge the fact that when you start to age, it is an irreversible process. So……..make the most of it while you are still young and ably.

Prologue To Freedom

My nephew is about to embark a new journey in his life. A journey he, probably, has waited since the day he was born. This is probably not a bad thing, considering he has planned it all the way, albeit through my sister's life time savings. And so she claims! Whoever life savings it may be, my nephew is heading to the southern hemisphere for a bit of adventure. I do not know, for sure, if this journey will change his life but I do know he is going there with anticipations and hopes.

When I was at his age, probably a century ago, I too went away from home to further my education. Perhaps the changing of time may have changed many things but I am sure the perception of ‘overseas’ remains the same, perpetually. I say ‘perception’ because I was led to believe, not that anyone forced me at gun-point, but I just happened to embrace it with open arms. It is a surreal but real, at least at that juncture in time it was. So here it is, Z-boy for you only.

Myth No:1
All Caucasian ladies are an easy catch.
Facts No:1
If you really believe this, then there is a 1 in a 10000000000000 chance you will get laid.

Myth No:2
You get to stay away from the wrath of Mummy.
Facts No:2
Just remember the wrath of Mummy is just a skype call away, or a tap of the finger.

Myth No:3
You get to kiss a girl under the mistletoe.
Facts No:3
Too many guys out there think exactly like you. So what are your chances?

Myth No:4
There is this thing called Mixed Dorm.
Facts No:4
Mixed Dorm exists if you consider guys with long hairs and occasionally dressed like a woman in parties.

The list is endless, my dear nephew and I can go on writing all the myths but I think you are smart enough to get my pointers by now. What you will feel, especially over the first 3 months is most irk symptoms of all…….you get very homesick. I have no intention of writing what homesick really means as it may vary between individuals. But the notion of suffering from homesick is enough to get you more homesick. So beware! Now I know what you are going to say. The problem was more apparent during my time because we don’t have internet; or more importantly money to take the next flight home. We gotta be more careful here. Adult males are more susceptible to emotional changes and the domino effects that can easily bring you down to your knees unless Myth No:1 comes true. In which case, the surge in testerones will quickly overcome the homesickness syndrome.

Your next problem could be a nightmare. Yes, you have to do your own laundry. It is not the laundry but the long hours waiting for your clothes to get dried by the tumble dryer. Imagine waiting for what seems like eternity, you have no choice but to see the tumbling go round and round. In no time, you will get into a hypnotized stage and that’s when you wished Myth No:2 come true. You rather hear her constant nagging then to turn into a zombie!

I say no more but sincerely hope that you will make an effort to ‘enjoy’ your independence. I can’t say for sure how much a change NZ can do for you in a manner England did to me. Frankly speaking, how many of us like to be away from home? Sometimes we are forced to make the choice, to make that edge to do well in our future. But more importantly, do well and bring the glory home. You are obligated, you don’t have a choice.

Last but not least, and this is from my friend (he is 66 this year!), his dad told him these words at the departure hall when he left for Australia. "If you like to drink milk, do drink as much as you can but don’t bring home the COW……." hahahahahha. Get it? I think your old man is open enough to whisper these words into your ear...... oops! I may be wrong, he is following you.

2010

Hmmm..... 2009 is fast drawing to a close and we are almost into 2010. What a year it has been…..no, it should be “what a dreadful year it has been”. And it could only be one thing; a new year is one year older for everyone. Think about it, you grow more wrinkles, and IF you can see them, it means you are not that old. If you can’t notice the difference, then you are really old.

Should ageing be a worry? I mean, in terms of appearance, wrinkled skin, flabby arms, bulging stomach, tiredness. I admit I could be one of them but then again I am sure I am much better than so many others out there who are worried stiff and anxious about their increasing age. So much so they resolutely resolve to find the best wrinkle treatment (yeah anti-ageing serum), botox (I like to have that jab but is too timid to puncture my face), face lift, etc. And all these hassles, just to look younger…but less vibrant. I don't know much about human needs and expectation but I reckon it depends on a person’s perception on ageing. To me, aging is a natural process ( ..I honestly can’t take the jab, nor would I succumb to lipo-suction). And although I hated the grey hair over my baldy head, I will have to look at them as a sign of wisdom beyond my years.

I am not going to turn this blog into the musing of an old man; I admit I have been rambling wee too much over the year. I blamed it on the stress and sleepless nights to deliver my projects; ending with my body finally gave way. I was down with the flu (good grief it is not the H1N1) and it came with a bad timing; to be sick during the X’mas holidays, when it’s supposed to be fun, fun, fun! But I am not going to digress….

Yes, 2009 has been an eventful year. The global economy took a better turn, the people are looking optimistic; at least it is true in Hong Kong. The US president was made a Nobel peace prize laureate (now why do they use the word laureate?); for not doing anything. It was also a year where the entire world met at Copenhagen in the name of saving the world; achieving only in principles, and with no fixed deadlines whatsoever. Mexico spread out the H1N1; WHO quickly escalated the Swine Flu to epidemic scale. Malaysia quickly renamed the Swine Flu to Influenza A; what a name!! PKFZ ballooned into an intangible scandal; causing chaos in MCA. The Art of War was put in good use; by the president and deputy president and the rest of the young pretenders. 1Malaysia became the slogan for all Malaysia; but none of us actually understood what it really meant. It degenerated into ManyMalaysia the moment it was introduced. MACC became the talk of the town; and you can’t be seen wearing black and definitely not seen mingling in groups in town. And whilst others waited to usher to coming of 2010, here is something for all of us to ponder. “Remember, not everything has a happy ending and endings have no ends; it’s just a way of telling us a new beginning has just begun. You should always be ready to predict the unpredictable, expect the unexpected and never troubled trouble with troubles. It’s easy to fall; hard to get up. Once you’re up; you will be a better man.”

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 新年快樂 and Selamat Tahun Baru.