To be, or not to be kiasu: that is the question. You will know you are a kiasu being when you are kiasu about being kiasu. There you go, sums up the current sentiment of our neighbour south of the border in one sentence. Our wise politicians have, finally, realized that billions of ringgit is wasted in subsidizing our neighbours and quite rightfully come to their senses on the banning of such privileges. 
Kiasuland, however, thought otherwise and has, since the birth of Christ, been having trouble with their logics. They claimed to have spent at least 6 to 7 times the cost of petrol during any of the trips across the border. As if to say they will no longer visit our country in future? If the answer is affirmative, I will be laughing with joy because I can then estimate the time needed to reach Changi Airport without the hiccup of being caught in traffic congestion. If the answer is negative, I don't know what to say about people with peanut brains. The only consolation I can offer is that the kiasu mentality is essential to make use of everything given, not losing out to any and finally to optimize at your own comfort zone. More than that, they now need to fight tooth and nail outside their usual comfort zone!
In my many years there, I have learned a thing or two about the people’s mentality. Such an attitude is often highly competitive, and its emphasis is to be above all other people, even if it means putting others. But to be kiasu is not only to be competitive. Kiasu people are driven out of fear of losing probably more than the desire to succeed. But they will not admit to this fact out of kiasuness. Here is the A to Z of kiasu
Always a must to win
Borrow and never return
Cheap is nice and good
Don’t trust anybody, not even your family
Everything is up for grab and must grab
Free is always the best
Grab anything at the first instance and talk later
Help yourself to everything
I first, I want, I for everything
Jump queue is a norm
Keeps coming back for more
Look for discount
Must not lose face
Never mind what they think
Outdo everyone you know
Pay only when necessary
Quit while you are ahead
Rushing and pushing wins the race
Samples are always welcome
Take but never ever give
Unless it’s free forget it
Vow to be number one
Winner takes it All
XXXX must be under government instruction
Yell if necessary to get what you want
Zebras are kiasu because they want to be both black and white at the same time
It is also this kiasu attitude that led to the development of Singlish which I thought is simply the weirdest and the mother of all inventions, and I don't like it at all. They think of this language as highly innovative and affectionately labelled themselves with Singlish. I thought this is the final insult to the colonial government of the past. It is not difficult to distinguish the only Singaporean within a sea of a thousand faces. All you need is to listen to probably one syllable and you will automatically point the thorn amongst the roses. Usual words by citizen of kiasuland
Ah then - Go World Trade Centre can take 61 meh? Ah Kow: Ah then? Of cos lar!
All Over the Shop - Hey Ah Beng, I want to buy some Maggie Mee but cannot find, leh? How you arrange things, one? Your things lay-long all over the shop!
Arrow - Wow lau! My boss "arrow" me to do this job. I very pek chek lah!! "You sabo king! Just because I never come for meeting you arrow me to do this leport!"
Bakchew tah sai - She so happening! He like tek ko she really bakchew tah sai!
Blur like Sotong - you blur like sotong, how come ?
Borrow Me - Ah-Beng: Eh, my Brylcream donno go where. Can you borrow me your hairgel?
Buey tah han – Wah lao eh, this exam I really buey tah han it ah. Soo meny questions i dunno.
Cham siong- Why like dat, can cham siong or not?
Chiminology- Ooi! Wat you say I dun understand lah, stop using those chiminology can or not!
Dom Pang - My buy-si-cal broke down today, can dom pang your kar to werk today or not.
Ga Na THRASH - That team is too good for your team, you all GA NA Thrash!
Heng- Wah lau eh, you still wear friendship bands ah? They now buey heng liao lah.
Hao lian- mai hao lian lah!
Jia Lat - jia-lat man! Exam this time sure fail one.
Jheelo - One hunnert, you idiert!!! One-jheelo-jheelo!
Ohso - Can you drop me home. "Ohso can" How about go to Yaohan? "Ohso can" Take me out for dinner? "Ohso can"
I guess I have said enough of our neighbours from the south.
- The sad part of why I think the banning of fuel for foreign cars has no impact on them is that they still are confused over words like condoms and condos.
- An even sadder part is that 50% of the population in kiasuland is permanent residency of Malaysian origin. Most scholars from that place are in fact Malaysian living there.
- But the saddest part of all is this, “Last month, Umno Johor said that the greatest mistake they made was in giving the non-Malay immigrants citizenship in August 1957. Now that they have been given citizenship they show their ingratitude by voting for the opposition. Yes, non-Malays, even those born in Malaysia, are immigrants. And, being immigrants, they must vote Barisan Nasional. And if they do not vote for Barisan Nasional then they are ungrateful.”
Damn tu-lan reading this, I tell you!
Now we know why so many of us simply walk over and embrace kiasuness. In a way, it is weird, saying something bad about these people is like saying in front of the mirror. It reflects on us, the very same people only in a different land. Chim leh, my fri-end………..
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