I have often wondered which is sadder; life’s journey through lesser cross-roads or life’s journey through endless cross-roads. I don’t have an answer to this profound thought but I do solemnly believe one’s life is pretty much a pre-determined equation the moment one emerged into this world of reality. The only difference is where we place the unknowns and the constants. Or rather, should I say how I wished the equation is all constants and never changing.
Life is never that perfect, it comes with all forms of ‘unpredictable’ and these ‘unpredictable’ always come in series, endless to some poor sods like me. These so called ‘unpredictable’ happened partly because we don’t treat and respect what was coming? Or is it the way we handled it that led to a state of eternal inequilibrium? I am at some kind of another crossroad in my life, it is not about money; nor is it about belief; it is a question of integrity and dignity. An integrity that will soon lead to yet another failed relationship. A dignity that, you may claim, prevented the salvage of a relationship. In some way, the crisis has taken its toil and I am somewhat tired physically, stretched mentally and emotionally stricken.
All of a sudden, my life is, strangely, looking more like the deciduous trees. Everything has fallen apart except in no part does the falling away……. May I say the losing foliage resembles the very end of a relationship? Perhaps I must learn to comprehend the calamity that has befallen onto me. Perhaps I should give up, which is a bad way or perhaps, I should face the real hard way, and learn to fight back. And I am not writing this as a desperate attempt to resurrect a failed relationship that has lost its glory with time. This is also not a time to seek solace that shadows my sadness. Hard it may be that this once a decorative chapter of my very existence has come to an end. I am, as some put it, at a peculiar crossroad where time, place and eternity somehow meet, and my only problem is to find exactly where the missing part of the puzzle were.
I found this poem in the internet, and it somehow reflects my state of mind and soul.
I think and expect u to know
I feel and I assume you, too, experience life the same as I
So, I hide my thoughts and keep them for me
Because it is safe that way
The shadows belong to me
I have no reason to believe that you would leave
But my mind sometimes tells me otherwise
For, what if the darkness was too great for you?
What if the sadness overpowered you?
For that reason, I don’t want to take you with me
Rather, I need you to be constant, never changing
So, hold me when I need to be comforted
And release me when I just need space
And I will promise to slowly let you in.
This moment I will not forget. I hope I will not live to regret the decision I made today. In the words of Robert Frost, “I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference”.
Life is never that perfect, it comes with all forms of ‘unpredictable’ and these ‘unpredictable’ always come in series, endless to some poor sods like me. These so called ‘unpredictable’ happened partly because we don’t treat and respect what was coming? Or is it the way we handled it that led to a state of eternal inequilibrium? I am at some kind of another crossroad in my life, it is not about money; nor is it about belief; it is a question of integrity and dignity. An integrity that will soon lead to yet another failed relationship. A dignity that, you may claim, prevented the salvage of a relationship. In some way, the crisis has taken its toil and I am somewhat tired physically, stretched mentally and emotionally stricken.
All of a sudden, my life is, strangely, looking more like the deciduous trees. Everything has fallen apart except in no part does the falling away……. May I say the losing foliage resembles the very end of a relationship? Perhaps I must learn to comprehend the calamity that has befallen onto me. Perhaps I should give up, which is a bad way or perhaps, I should face the real hard way, and learn to fight back. And I am not writing this as a desperate attempt to resurrect a failed relationship that has lost its glory with time. This is also not a time to seek solace that shadows my sadness. Hard it may be that this once a decorative chapter of my very existence has come to an end. I am, as some put it, at a peculiar crossroad where time, place and eternity somehow meet, and my only problem is to find exactly where the missing part of the puzzle were.
I found this poem in the internet, and it somehow reflects my state of mind and soul.
I think and expect u to know
I feel and I assume you, too, experience life the same as I
So, I hide my thoughts and keep them for me
Because it is safe that way
The shadows belong to me
I have no reason to believe that you would leave
But my mind sometimes tells me otherwise
For, what if the darkness was too great for you?
What if the sadness overpowered you?
For that reason, I don’t want to take you with me
Rather, I need you to be constant, never changing
So, hold me when I need to be comforted
And release me when I just need space
And I will promise to slowly let you in.
This moment I will not forget. I hope I will not live to regret the decision I made today. In the words of Robert Frost, “I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference”.
