Irony of Being Ironic

Every so often something weird happened for no apparent reason, which can be particularly annoying because it is likely to baffle your logical thinking. And the weird thing is these happening are usually associated with the doing of some peanut brains. To be resolutely fair, it merely reaffirms that the basics in the fundamental organizing principle of the world is irony. Yes, I am speaking about the US presidential election whereby you have an old man, with all his wisdom ironically chose a young but naive lady as his running mate. His irony is perhaps to average out the age of his team but not the wisdom. Who taught this guy the rights and wrongs? I wonder…… And then, would you believe it? We have a coloured young chap choosing a much older but uncoloured man. This time the irony is to balance out the colour but not the age, nor the wisdom. I can’t think of a better word to best describe this sort of ironies except only in America where complete jerks choose the wrong people for the wrong place and at the wrong time. This is a land where you vote the same jerk twice just to be doubly sure you made a mistake.

I also recalled, once upon a time in China many many years ago, where I would constantly wake up to the silent rhythm of music less exercise. Every morning of the week, groups of harmless looking people, comrades or even peasants would stand in deep concentration, arms raised above their heads practicing a form of exercise known as qigong. It involves controlled breathing and meditation. Literally millions of people around the world swear by it that it is good for the body even though all you did was to stand motionless for hours. Ironically, this is where you are able to achieve good health without running around and sweating profusely. Had you run and sweat, you are quite likely to end up taking a hefty breakfast of congee, noodles and some fried yau char kuai. And that really defeats the whole irony of exercise.

The other irony about this school of qigong is as fast as it comes; it became a subject of China’s fondness for demonising things it cannot control. Yes, Falungong was ban because the founder is from the US (again a bloody America) and China just wouldn't have it……..it just doesn't like anything controlled from another country. The irony is all good things in China must come to an end, an abrupt end if you are pedantic about the timing. And so…..the morning after, all the people, comrades or even peasants vanished. Some, I was told, from a totally unreliable sources, were send to the space programme since learning Falungong allows them the gift to control the level of oxygen intake to the body.

Strangely but truly one silly country in Asia is emulating the same feat on Yoga. What is so strange about people so bent on bending their limbs, articulating the joints and defying gravity? But some people in some quarters of some government agencies had this notion that this would be a bad thing. And, to be more ironic, they thought that the whole idea about yoga will somehow divert the religious belief if one keeps bending the unbendable part. I am not a Yoga expert but you can start bending any part of my body and limbs, toss them up and down, and still I won’t start tossing my head (left and right) and yell “aarche, dey yen na ne?” Nor would I hastily embraced Hinduism because of Yoga. That is not an irony, that is me being me and sound minded! And so are the many others who love bending themselves for no apparent reason. What do you have to ban them from bending??

Saying that, I did have the unpleasant experience of trying out Yoga in Hong Kong under a Mainland Chinese teacher (I suspect she practices Falungong and personally knew both McCain and Obama). But after trying some basic forms under a 38 degrees Celsius environment, I could see the irony of why more people prefer to run/jog/skip the marathon. It is, by far, relatively an easier task to run/jog. That one hour in the room doing the impossible bend/twist/curve is enough to make your body ached so much and so intense that the end of the world seemed like a really attractive idea.

So I was right. It really is an irony world we are living now. By the way, a jumbo cock barbecued, anyone?

Life, there’s really nothing quite like it.

As the whole world’s attention draws to the aftermath of the financial tsunami….now why do they coined such a buzzword??? A tsunami, as I know it, has only one wave, after which you are left to pick up the pieces. I don't think this appropriately describes what we are facing now. Afterall, it is said that US$7 trillion has been wiped off the account books in a matter of ….days, months, years? That figure, and I am not about to start counting, is a number 7 followed by 12 zeroes and no matter how you look at it, it looks grotesquely large. How’s that nobody actually found out until the zeroes get to 12? And then hastily pressed the panic button and screwed the entire world. Yes, people like you and me, for Christ sake!

I was in Singapore 2 weeks ago to attend a not-so-important meeting attended by a group of old-but-looking young dinosaurs. The organizer, quite aptly named, Russellaurus, started with a rather cruncher opening statements “we shouldn't rest on our laurels in the wake of this credit crunch”. Now I don't know about you lot but I have friends who have taken measures to go into 2 to 3 years of hibernation in the wake of this financial tsunami. They are resting on their laurels now and following the good old Cantonese saying “you shouldn't lose a factory for a sweet”. Anyway, Russellaurus invited a lunch time speaker, hmmm by the name of Swifty (I think…if not, Swift) from a firm named Callamander. And guess what, Swifty thinks he knows all about the finance market……..yeah in hindsight who doesn't?

In all fairness he cracked my shallow understanding of the world market. He came up with the theory that the money US$7 trillion never existed, it is on the books only. Get it? So why the whole world is worried stiff with G8, G20 or probably United Nations, urging its members to attend summits after summits. What’s the catch then? Well, as he explained it is a bubble, a make belief that the $ actually existed……..or so much of the investment sharks and ancient institutions are led to believe. The bubble burst and the sharks and banks ended up in debts……..and then that’s how the problem gets onto you. Those idiots from the US are greedier than anybody. They used up their monies, and your monies and the whole problem then spiraled around the globe faster than the internet!

Time and again, we tell ourselves that the bubble is going to burst; it is only a matter of time. That, as it happens, is my brother’s famous way of looking at things, when it gets artificially inflated or alarming. Incidentally, it makes perfect sense when you look at things, in hindsight! You know the saying “… as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know.” So many knows, known, unknown…..kind of makes you feel you wished you had known the knowns and unknowns, and more importantly don't get off-guards and left in the trails of unknowns.

And so, with the on-slaughter of the financial ‘tsunami’ not coming to a halt, myself like any ordinary blokes, gits, nerds, jerks will suffer the same fate. I lost all my financial investment (it hasn't reached rock bottom yet but is pursuing along that direction) along with my stocks and other forms of investment which I should say didn't look as though it will ever recover. I am not sage when it comes to things that can twist and turn in a matter of hours, and hence I don't want to predict but I do want to leave something to amuse myself while the whole financial world goes berserk. “When anyone asks me how I can best describe my experience in nearly forty years at sea, I merely say, uneventful. Of course there have been winter gales and storms and fog and the like but, in all my experience, I have never been in an accident ... of any sort worth speaking about. I have seen but one vessel in distress in all my years at sea. I never saw a wreck and have never been wrecked nor was I ever in any predicament that threatened to end in disaster of any sort.” These were the words of Captain Edward John Smith in 1907, 5 years before he became captain of the RMS Titanic.

Yes..... life, there is really nothing quite like it!